Holy Shiz!

Walk Away

2010-11-27T08:24:00.002+07:00

Pacing through a cold empty street

Each step takes me further away from here

Leaving you on the doorstep, standing still

While the sound of footsteps fade as I leave

There ain't no spark between us

Just fire and ice

Who never tire a good fight

Although we're dying inside

(Refrains:)

We've hurt each other so many times

That we might actually lost our minds

We've been trying to make it work

But how do we fix something that’s already broken?

I just can't take it anymoreThere's nothing left to fight for

So, please don't beg me to stay

And just let me walk away

We were young and naïve

A couple of teenagers in love

Everything seemed so good and easy

But, in the end, it didn't turn out to be

Our relationship has fallen apart

Along with the torn-up pictures and our shattered hearts

And now, here I am, wondering

If what I did was wrong or right

(Refrains)

Our relationship has fallen apart

Along with the torn-up pictures and our shattered hearts

Being "Switzerland"

2010-09-14T21:38:00.000+07:00

Being neutral is not easy. It's not easy to be on one side when you actually wanna hear the story from both sides. It's not easy to protect yourself from the other side's influences without being an ignorant. I'm not saying this as a smart-ass. I'm saying this because that's exactly what I'm going through right now.

I'm an all-or-nothing kind of person. I'm very investigative and all about research. I've always been. I don't wanna judge something based on "he said, she said". I look for information and try to find out the truth. And it's endangering my moral roots and ideology sometimes.

My best friend is totally an anti-America. Me... not really. I do have dreams of going to Yale for college and live in Manhattan and all that stuff. But, having a conversation about it earlier makes me realize how deep I'm in right now. I actually feel sorry for myself. Pathetic!

I've changed. A lot. And although being open-minded has taught me many valuable lessons, I think it's time to take this down a notch.

On a second thought, I don't think I want to be Switzerland. I want to be a modern person who still knows where she's from and what she's made of. I know it's not easy but I'll learn. I know I have it in me, I just have trouble finding it. And with my God, I know I can.

ECLIPSE :D

2010-07-16T18:22:00.000+07:00

hey, guys! what's the craic? It's been a really long time since I updated. I actually checked this place out a couple times, I was just too lazy writing something lol. I've been really unproductive during this holiday. I didn't write one chapter, not one song, nothing.

anyways, Eclipse was out and I saw it twice (at the same movie theater lol). It was AWESOME! This is where they actually reached my expectations. The looks, the storyline, the actors, Jacob... everything. This is the point where, I think, the Cullen clan look 'vampire' enough. When I first saw Twilight, all I thought about them was "They're not vampires; they're just a group of weirdly pale people who are played by beautiful people". But now, this movie, I could actually see the vampire in them.

Speaking of vampires, there's a new hottie in town! Yep, I'm talking about Xavier Samuel aka Riley Biers. He's really hot, he kind of reminds me of an actor in old silent movies. Now that is what I call a stone-cold, drop dead gorgeous vampire!

The wolves are, needless to say, super-hot! Especially Taylor. I literally held my breath to not squeal inside the theater. For real. I totally agree with Mark, you could fry eggs on Taylor's abs haha

I'm on Team Jacob. I've always been. And not just because I'm on Team Jacob, but I think Bella and Jacob's story is more... I don't know, interesting. And heartbreaking. It's a really sad piece.

Weird, but that actually made me dislike Bella. Not because she picked Edward over Jacob, but... how desperate she is for him. And how she's willing to throw everything away for one guy. Alright, not just any guy; Edward Cullen. But, like I said, being too needy is not healthy. I actually agree with Rosalie on this one.

Here's the thing. If Bella chooses Edward, she'd have to give up on everyone and everything in her life. But with Jacob, she wouldn't have to change or give up a thing. Like, would you let 1000 people die for 1 man? or would you let go of 1 man for 1000?

But, the story went the other way, so... Too bad.

It's so predictable! These love stories. An average girl with crappy life, meets a perfect guy, falls in love, then one day he leaves her, they're both devastated, they get back together, they get married, roll credits. What if when he left, Bella eventually moved on and fell in love with Jacob? or that some mysterious guy showed up in her life and took her breath away?

But, overall, the movie was awesome :) Best quote in the whole movie is... "Let's face it. I am hotter than you." by Jacob. I was like, "hell yeah!" when he said that lol

Song of the entry is "Jacob's Theme" by Howard Shore. It's a track from the orchestral score, and I freakin' love it!

Until the next time ;)

Veinticuatro

2010-05-25T22:23:00.000+07:00

"Veinticuatro". According to the dictionary --or, more likely, Google translator-, it means "Twenty Four". We are the 24th class in our middle school. 24 is us.

like any other school, we have cliques and social circles. the nerds, the 'okay' kids, the cool kids, the skanks, the jocks, the weirdos, the teacher's pets... you name it. As much as I hate to admit it, it's true. those 'sides' DO exist. Some of the kids are neutral --they're good friends with ppl from different circles and not care about the social system-; some are 50-50 --they're a little judgmental and have stereotypes-; some are 'exclusive' --they got a "little world of their own", and ignores the people outside it-; and some are just... introverted --they just don't like to socialize.

Yesterday was our farewell party. a bunch of my classmates put together a short documentary about all of us. They did a great job, it was really nice. but... it's such a shame. It's not about ALL of us. It's just about a BUNCH of us. Too bad, because we are not the only ones in Veinticuatro. there are a lot of important people and important moments that weren't caught on tape. though, once again, good job :)

but, memory lives on. We don't need pictures or videos or anything to remember those priceless moments. Pictures are worth a thousand words, and words would not describe those moments. It's up to you on how would you like to remember those times. it's three years worth to remember :)

I've had a lot of amazing adventures during my three-years here, and I want to thank you for that. Thank you for being there for me when no one else wasn't. Thank you for listening to my problems. Thank you for opening my eyes and make me realize and step out of my perfect little world. Thank you for everything.

It breaks my heart to walk separate ways with you guys. But we have our own lives, we gotta move on.

I really hope you guys are still a part of my life no matter what.

I love you guys :')

P.S.: I don't believe in goodbye's. Just 'see you later's

P.S.S.: Song of the entry is "Us Against The World" by Westlife ;)

National Exams Results. aaaaah!

2010-05-08T21:26:00.000+07:00

Hey y'all! So the results were finally out yesterday. I only got the average of 8.3, so... I still haven't decided which high school I'm going to. At first I was really bummed and disappointed that I cried. Well, my parents are okay with that. But I'm not. Wasn't, at least. I wanted to get to 34HS, but my score's not enough. Well, it might be enough --This year's national average plummeted!- but I'd have to get on the second period. So, I might as well have some backup plans. I was thinking, maybe 3 or 6. They're both grrrrreat schools :)

Anyways, it's still a success for me and my friends, so it's worth celebrating. Today we did :) Not quite a bang or anything, but we had fun. In fact, that was impromptu. Nabilla, Raya, Risti, Ceko and I were just checking out yearbook pics at the advertising agency. Then we got really hungry, so we went to the mall. Ceko really insisted to catch 'Iron Man 2', but the movie was closed, what were we supposed to do? lol. Anyways, then he came up with a brilliant idea. "Let's go for a karaoke!" :D

At first we were a little hesitant. But, in the end, we did went to the karaoke place. We sung one crappy local song, and then our personal favorites like Thunder, Love Story, My Life Would Suck Without You, Baby, Just Dance, More Than Words, If I Let You Go, Fix You, Ordinary People... None of us could sing, so it don't matter! We sang off-key, so what? haha

I had a lot of fun today. Sometimes good things just come unexpectedly, right? I'm still bummed at some point, cuz some of my friends aced it and here I am with tight score, and the fact that I might have to say goodbye to 34. I reaaaally want to get there so badly. But, I guess, you can't always get what you want. I get what I need ;)

I'm currently listening to "Hey Whatever" by Westlife, I think that suits the situation right now. I've been listening to Westlife a lot lately --It's been freakishly frequent over the past few weeks lol-, reminiscing the good ol' days. I like their upbeat songs, it's uplifting and lightens up my mood. I forgot how good they are for all these years... It's been, like, 7 years! And I just got the fever again. haha

Well, I think that's it for now. I'll try to write more often.

Toodles! ;)

P.S.: I wonder how Jake feels about my day today. I mean, that's his best friend over there. Don't take this the wrong way, though. I mean, I like Ceko, but not in that way --Not exactly boyfriend material lol. Eww- but... ya never know. Last time I checked, this whole thing with his buddy and me was a little sensitive --A hint of jealousy, obviously! lol-. Wonder if he still got that.... lol

End Of One, Another Begins

2010-04-17T09:27:00.001+07:00

April 15th 2010. After going a bit of a rough patch, I decided to call it quits with Jake. He doesn't understand me anymore, and he acts like "I had to have you or I won't be happy". That might sound sweet for some people, but not me. You should want the person you're in love, but you shouldn't need them. He said he's not gonna get all 'lovey-dovey' 'cuz he still loves me and he wants to focus on school. I could only responds with a sour smile and an 'if-you-only-knew' look.

He ain't seen nothing yet! He's a small-town boy, he's only 15!!! He doesn't know anything about life or love. And maybe neither do I. But, I do know something; adventures, love, and life are not the things you can control. The world is a huge round place and it revolves around in a huge circle. Some things just come unexpectedly.

It's tragic. I didn't know that someone like him could be that naive! Oh well. It's for his own good anyway. I'm a very independent person when it comes to boys. I don't think I'm ready for love yet. Not that kind of love yet. I do enjoy little schoolgirl crushes and dates, but he seems so serious about our relationship. Geez, we're teenagers, damn it! It's not like we're getting married tomorrow or anything. Ugh.

As much as I hated breaking up with him, this would be the best for us. I couldn't stand any more second and any more stress from that relationship, and him? Let's just say he got a chance for himself to take a good look around and realize that LIFE ISN'T AS SIMPLE AS IT MAY SEEMED. And that he's only a human being, and he has no control of the universe he lives in.

And for the record, I'm not brooding and crying myself to sleep. I figured that everything happens for a reason, so... this must be a good thing. I think. If not? Oh well. I'm single, I'm young. I have lots of friends. I'll just be 'Barney Stinson' awesome! We'll see. lol

December 20th 2009 - April 15th 2010

P.S.: I couldn't find a song that really fit this situation. But I'm currently writing a song about this as a birthday gift to him (Haven't even got the chance to actually buy the gift) and I'm gonna post the lyrics as soon I finished them. Although... Kelly Clarkson's "Already Gone" sounds good, too ;)

Cousin Amanda's Wedding

2010-03-24T19:54:00.000+07:00

I attended my cousin Amanda's wedding last Saturday :) it was a fairytale... I am soooo officially in love with weddings. Well, I've always been in love with weddings. I don't know if it's the great venue, the open bar, or the beautiful bride. Or the fact that I've seen '27 Dresses' and 'Bride Wars' wayyyyyy too many times. LOL!

Anyway, back to Amanda's wedding. It was located in Building 165 near Citos, both the ceremony and the reception. The ceremony was sweet. Amanda looked really beautiful and Remy (The groom) looked neat, though may I say the color of their clothes were a little pale. I kept it low profile and wore a white maxi dress with a blue scarf and a pair of ivory wedges. Oh, and roses on my hair! haha. I also took a pic with Raka from Vierra, 'cuz he is actually Remy's little brother. He is surprisingly... not so tall. Or was it the wedges I wore? lol

After the ceremony, we had about two hours to get ready for the reception. I changed into the brown 'satin-and-brocade' dress and had a family photo op. The reception began with the bride and groom along with their family entering the venue. This is my favorite part.

From the front: Amanda and Remy, then Big Momma with Aunt Alita, Uncle Toro and Remy's dad, Ardo and Raka, Ican and Emil, me and Nadia, my mom and dad, aaaand a bunch of other people behind us. The family entered the room with Imel's Ten2Five singing "Hanya Untukmu". I was like, "Holy shiiiiiit! Raka Vierra and now Ten2Five? Damn!" and then I met up with cousins. Then Tisa and I went to explore the foods (Which is DE-LICIOUS!) until... OMG! It's Kevin Aprillio! When I saw him, I thought, "I think the whole member of Vierra is here. And I think they're gonna perform," and I was right.

I saw Widy and came up to her for a picture. Then a few minutes later, they performed on the beautiful little stage. Only three songs. The first one was I don't know what it's called but it was good, then "Rasa Ini", and lastly "Bersamamu". I admit that the band is actually pretty good. BUT THE VOCALIST RUINS IT ALL! Seriously. She can't sing that kind of music. She's better off singing screamo, like seriously. Though she did look pretty, and tall back there.

Party's over and I took some roses at the entrance. Beautiful white and pink roses :)

Venue: Fantastic. Music: Superb. Food: Four thumbs up. Decorations: Awesome. Man, I'd love to have a wedding like that one day... only I want it to be either a garden party, the top of a Manhattan building or the beach :)

Song of the entry is "Today Was A Fairytale" by Taylor Swift.

It's gonna be a while until my next update since I got National Exams in five days, and I'm saying goodbye to my beloved laptop until then lol. So... until the next time,

XOXO

Juggling!

2010-03-04T21:16:00.000+07:00

Ehmagawdddd! At this time of the year, I am STILL loaded with stuff other than the four main subjects! I have yearbook meetings, honors class, tons of homework, a grrrrrreat social life, a boyfriend and... I think that's it.

Seriously, I am 13 years old, damn it! I am the youngest student in class, and... I'm carrying more pressure than the other kids are. When everyone's thinking, focusing, and worrying about their NE scores, I'm thinking about my studying hours at home, the yearbook meetings along with its subs, the high school I want to go to, the papers and homework and essays that I have to do once I get home, my friends, Jake, my parents.... Sometimes I just want to sleep all day. It's ironic.

As much as I enjoy doing some of those stuff, it gets pretty tiring. Especially when it's like 9pm, and you feel like you're reaaaally exhausted that you don't even have the strength to care. And when the alarm rings at butt-crack of dawn, you're not fully recharged yet! and that REAAAAALLY SUCKS!!!

oh, and it gets worse when someone pisses you off. On my case, it's mostly my parents. Sometimes I wish they would just shut the fuck up!

I'm currently real pissed at them, so... I'll get off now. Song of the entry is... Glee - Defying Gravity.

xoxoxo

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2010-02-21T11:42:00.000+07:00

To be honest, at first, I wasn't so happy that I was assigned to IX-A. There were a bunch of bad boys and geeks and some real annoying people. During the first few months, my friends and I were kind of keeping it to ourselves and stay inside our social circle.

But then, the clock keeps on ticking. We got to know everyone better. Faizah turns out to be the sweetest person ever. Nofal turns out to be THE MOST HILARIOUS person. Senna is actually a real gentleman. Adi and Dimas turns out to be great companies to have fun and get crazy with. We're like one big, happy family. (Note.: There are only TWO people I dislike in class; F and C. You know who they are.)

But, too bad... We're gonna graduate in a blink of an eye and we'll go our separate ways.

Love you guys forever <3

My "Daring" School Essay

2010-01-08T22:15:00.000+07:00

My Indonesian teacher gave the 9th graders a task to create an essay about anything for, at least, 10 pages. Oh well, since he said anything, I assume he means anything. At first, I was thinking maybe... social networking sites and teenagers nowadays. But I figure, it's really common for teens to write about social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter and how it affects their lives. So, I decided to write about Freemasonry & Illuminati.

I know, it's a bit of a heavy reading for someone my age. But, I'll bet no one's ever written an essay about this before (at my school, at least) and this would get me promising scores. And I hope the essay would be a 'wake-up call' for everyone who reads it. A lot of people has been blinded and manipulated by them -Including us. I finally knew it, and it's time for the rest of you to know it, too.

I have a few things I'd like to discuss (and argue) from the topic I've chosen for my essay. Some of them are;

The domination of Masons and Illuminatus, everywhere. In case you don't know, Illuminati is a secret society founded in 1700's whose goal is to 'rule the world'. The Illuminati and Freemason are scattered everywhere, from the U.S. and Israel government, the media (FOX, CNN, CBS, CNN, etc.), CIA, United Nations, to NASA.

For example, the Israel-Palestine conflict. The feud has been going since the '20s, with all the efforts that the UN did, and there's still no way out. Why? Let me break it down for you. UN was founded by Franklin D. Roosevelt and Winston Churchill, who were both Masons. And, as I've mentioned before, the Masons dominate the UN which practically makes them sides with Israel. Though, most of the European countries remain neutral, abstaining the ongoing condemnation of Israel and supporting the foundation of Palestinian state. But still, they are the one who call the shots.

Another example, just one other. The New World Order. NWO is a term that many politicians use from time to time that refers to a global conspiracy by a group of powerful and influencial people who wants to eventually rule the world. In order to reach their 'main goal', they're doing a propaganda. Through movies. Don't believe it? Keep reading.

"2012" is a form of their propaganda. They would make this movie, scare tons of people, and then manipulate and control them once they're under the illusion. And, they're gonna make themself look like the hero in the story. They would "take the people under their wings and battle against it" like the movie "Independence Day", where the humans unite to fight aliens under United States' commands. What makes it more obvious for me is that both of the movie scripts are written by the same person, Roland Emmerich. Plus, you know who's doing the main soundtrack for 2012? That's right, Adam Lambert. And he is... a Jewish. A little too made-up for a coincidence, don't you think?

I will upload my essay once I get it done. Just wish me lots of luck, will ya?

XOXO

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2010-01-05T15:49:00.000+07:00

Happy New Year, everybodyyyyy! haha. Hope you guys all had a great time during New Year's Eve, and may this year be a good one for everyone ;)

My New Year's Eve celebration is rather... private, but, still, it's a blast! There were me, Risti, Dinda, Nila, and Raya. Our location was Risti's house. In her room, mostly. We watched DVDs, played with the fireworks, makeover, and had a McDonald delivery at 3am (Don't ask lol). It was A LOT of fun!

Anyways, my new year resolutions are;

Acing all the school tests and got into 34 High. HELL YEAH!!!
Be a better person. For people and the environment around me.
Able to earn money for Detroit at the end of the school year (Fingers crossed!)
Be more organized.
Finish writing 'Twisted Fairytale'
Write at least 15 songs along with the music
Post those songs on YouTube and gain tons of followers
Stop being different versions of me and start being just me (Oh well, I can't make everyone happy!)
Get one thing I wrote published on a magazine :):):)

The clock keeps on ticking. By the time we realized, we're already counting down to 2011, 2012, 2013... So, the song of the entry is "Live Like We're Dying" by Kris Allen. I've been playing that song on loop. I love it! And it's so meaningful, especially early at the year. Until the next time,

xoxoxoxoxo

Prince In Disguise

2009-12-23T20:32:00.002+07:00

This song is written for my best guy friend :)

I've been waiting for so long
For a prince in a shining armor
Ridin' his white horse
To come and rescue me

But he never showed up
I'm left out here alone
Tryin' to get up on my own
Losing faith in my savior
Tryin' to keep myself safe and sound
But then you came around

(Refrains:)
It was you all along
It always has been you
How could I be so blind?
You're the prince in disguise
I've been searching all my life
But I never noticed what's in front of me
All I see was just a bunch of lies
But you're my prince in disguise

You've been tryin' to tell me,
"Don't trust those fake princes that comes around,"
But I just want that true love to be found
So I didn't listen to you
But they only ended up getting me hurt
They left and broke my heart

But you still wouldn't say "I told you so,"
Instead you said, "Hey, you gotta give it a try,"
You made me laugh when I was gonna cry
You'd stay up late to hear about my day
And tell me that I'm remarkable in my own way
But I still didn't realize that

(Refrains)

One day I woke up from my long sleep
And everything seemed to remind me of you
The whole world already knew
But I didn't know what to do

I kept thinking that I was too late
That you moved on and found somebody else
But I'm not gonna hide it anymore
I think you deserved to know

You're not like I thought you'd be
A typical Prince Charming, ready to set me free
But I don't care
You're the one who's always there
And that's the one I wanna be with
That's the one I'm meant to be with
My prince in disguise.

Angels & Demons

2009-12-13T15:08:00.001+07:00

Nope, I'm not talking about the movie or the book. I'm talking about the look.

It's like two different words collide. I mixed up the whole 'black-dark-evil-demon' with the 'sweet-white-heavenly-angel' and a model that fits both description. You know, she can be both the 'snow-white-and-innocent-angel' and 'the-demon-with-the-red-hair-and-lips'. She's a total English rose. Anyways, I started out with a simple vintage LBD, net gloves by Macahel, and J. Dauphin's spiky punk bracelet. Then I added the angelic accent on the look with the feathery white wings by NK Leksaker, vintage lace umbrella, and the pretty Tatty Devine heart pendant. A little bit more demonic accent, I added a Glitter chain necklace, and A-S Davik rings. I had quite a hard time picking out the shoes, since there's no white shoes and I've had enough 'demon' on the look. So I've chosen this awesome pair of heels designed by Giuseppe Zanotti. And... voila! Angels and demons!

I'm gonna do more artistic looks on Looklet. Coming rrrright up!

XOXO

Envy

2009-12-10T16:21:00.002+07:00

Not that I'm being a narc or anything, but... I believe I have talents. Slightly raw and unpolished, but all I need is a chance. I never got the chance to prove that I can do things. You know how people is... they always stick to the status quo. It's not easy to accept newcomers. But once they see the shining newcomers, they are wowed.

To be honest, I sometimes envy my best friend. She's probably the most popular girl in school who has a good image. She's pretty, smart, friendly, charming... she's everything. She has girls in school who look up to her, guys who got huge crush on her, tons of friends (Literally.), and a boyfriend who loves her soooo much.

And yet, sometimes she still complains about it. I don't get it. Though, it's not perfect, I know. But... all I wanted was to be wanted. To be the one that shines the brightest, even just for once. She has all that. I have...

I'm a dork. I'm freakishly tall and big like Kimora, and look crucial at some point. I speak whatever I had in mind. I can be tough or bossy sometimes. My thoughts are wayyyyy ahead most people around me. Boys consider me as one of them. I'm far from Miss Popularity type.

My point of view is different sometimes. When I see 'ugly' people, I always see something in them that makes them beautiful. But, when I see 'beautiful' people, I also see flaws every here and there. I know that nothing is perfect. I just can't help wishing it was...

I wrote this not to humiliate my best friend in any way. I love her, she's the closest person I know as a sister. Being with her, it's a bit of a downer. But seeing her waste it or complain about it, frustrates me. She has, like, everything a girl wants in her teenage life, and she doesn't want it.

It's true that humans are never fully satisfied with what they already have. Sometimes it's good, because it motivates you to do greater things. But, other times, be grateful for what you had. I know. I act like that, too, sometimes.

P.S.: Risti, don't throw all that away. Enjoy it. Be grateful. I'll be there for you and I'm 100% behind what you're after.

XOXO

NEW MOON!

2009-12-05T08:46:00.004+07:00

Saw it last Sunday! Here's the shizzle.

We went to Putri's house to surprise her at her birthday at like 7am. We waltzed in when she was deep-sleeping, so it's a huge success! Then, when Putri was in the shower, Dinda came up with this idea, "Hey, let's go to the mall!" and then I was, "Let's go watch New Moon!". So then we went to La Piazza by taxi. 7 people in ONE cab haha. Anyways, we got there at, like, 10.30 so the movie wasn't even open. Dinda, Chitra, and I stood in front of the door with a bunch of people (Who, I think, are gonna watch New Moon, too). The door opened, and Dinda sprinted her way to the ticket box! It was crazy. She got the 2nd place, though. The girl next to us ran real fast lol. It was okay. Then we took a walk and saw a band of handicapped. Handicapped! But they're probably better than half the bands in the country!

The movie was at 12.15, and we arrived on time. Saw a couple trailers, some are pretty interesting. But, to be honest, I couldn't sit tight 'cuz I'm wayyyy too excited to see Jacob! The movie began........

and I LOVED IT! Okay, there's more romance and drama than the action. But what's wrong with that? I love Taylor Lautner here even more than Twilight. I love the chemistry between Jacob and Bella. Jella. For a moment back there, yeah, they remind me of the two closest people in my life. And I did almost shed a tear when Bella said, "Don't make me chose. Because it's gonna be him. It always has," to Jacob. I don't want that to happen to them :(

My favorite scene would be... When Bella and Jacob were in the garage, fixing the motorcycles. Love the song, too! Been listening to it on loop.

Aside from that, the movie, for me, is 11 out of 10! I am so gonna watch it again. Probably after finals, with Raya. And, probably, with the boys too. Can't wait to see it again!!!

Goin' Countryside!

2009-11-26T10:58:00.001+07:00

It's been a while since I wrote the previous entry. I've been busy doing the music arrangement for "Musikalisasi Puisi", it's where we turn a poem into a song of our own. We were done with the music, and when we were having a consultation with my teacher's son -Who's, by the by, really cute! Then again, he's in college so... shame ;)- and he said, "The notes don't match the poem and neither does the guitar. Let's change it all," and we did! We made a completely new arrangement which was very different from the first one and practiced a bit... ALL IN THREE HOURS. It was Friday, and the competition was Saturday. It took only three hours. And we nailed it! We got the audience noddin' their heads alright. We didn't won, but that's fine with me.We did our best and had fun onstage. That's what matters, right?

Anyways, after the competition, me, Sabeth and Nofal went back to Risti's house to pick up some stuff. We're goin' countryside! We met up with Dita and Mayang and Risti's cousin Nunu there. Then we went back on the road! Mayang attempted to study Economy along the way, but we successfully distracted her by playing Jesse McCartney's Departure CD on the car stereo lol. We arrived at, like, 4pm and THE PLACE WAS HUGE! It didn't look like a villa. It looked like a big house. Marble floor, huge space, great lawn... Love it! We settled down in a room upstairs, the last one on the right. And our room was so pretty! It's all pink and pastel colors like Barbie. I wanted one! I want my new room to be like that when we move in lol.

After we settled down, we decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. It was a little windy and cold -Good thing I brought my big sweater!- and took some nice pics while we were there. Then it rained! It drizzled at first, but then it got bigger so we ran back to the villa. My heart was beating so fast, I was breathing real heavily. But I didn't shed a sweat! It was so cold! We were wet, but instead of going straight to shower, we ordered noodle. Waiting for it to be ready, we sang our hearts out. Then we ate, but Nofal's mom said she made pasta. Damn, we could've eat PASTA!!! We had lots of penne and fettuccine at dinner, however. It was the 21st anniversary of Risti's parents, but she also gave me and Mayang birthday present. Chatelain wallet! Love it <3 we spent the night chattering away in our Barbie room.

I woke up at 5.30ish and I thought it was already 7 because the sun's already up. It was raining. I remember the wind blew real hard when I got outta my room. FREEZING! I decided to go back to bed, tweet a bit. Then the girls wake up. We took a walk and then I plunged into the pool! Dita taught me her dance routine while the others took pictures in the meadow. It was fun! Risti took a picture of me, Mayang, and Dita sitting on big rocks where water flows around it. I'd post it here, but Dita hasn't upload it yet. Comin' up, by the way.

We went back to the villa, ate more pasta, took VERY COLD shower, and packed our bags. I was on my phone texting, until I fell asleep. It was only 10 minutes when Risti's maid woke us up to go back home. Sigh...

But that was fun! I hope we can do it again sometimes. I'm actually thinking about... doing my class' yearbook pics there. The place is BEAUTIFUL! Great views, nice places to go to. And, maybe, Mayang would be our photographer. I don't know, I would like her to be.

Oh well, that's what I wanted to blog you about. Laters!

Immorality Of Teenagers Today

2009-11-14T20:03:00.000+07:00

Us girls -Consisted of me, Risti, Dinda, Sabeth, Nila, and a bunch of other girls- were chatting around at Risti's porch after our Math course. We talked about the party that this rich guy (Let's call him T-Man) at school had last night, where some of the kids leave at midnight-ish. Some of my friends were invited, but they didn't go. Well, last night was raining heavily from the afternoon. It even flooded a bit. What were they supposed to do, drive all the way through the dark and slippery road to the city hall?

Today, T-Man and his boys are going to the countryside. Haikal, Chitra's ex (Whom she wants to get back with, FYI) is coming with them. Last time they went there, T-Man took a hooker back to their bungalow. That's what I've heard, at least. Then we started talking about guys in our class who had their... first time. And... surprise, surprise. My ex is one of them.

Bam. He's done that. OMG. He's only 14! I've never felt so disappointed in my life. I used to like that guy. Hell, I used to date him! I was like "Oh, no. Nooo... Please tell me that's a joke." but... Man. I can't believe that our guys are that bad! They are only, what, 14 or 15? Sheesh!

This reminds me of Social Studies class about people's reaction to social changes. One of the negative impacts is social decadence. Some of the easy examples are, like people seeing dirty things they shouldn't see, dating boundaries are crossed over... But not this. Not in this stage. This is wayyyyy in over our straight minds! I feel disappointed because... have they ever thought, even for once, how they're gonna pay for that? They're not in love. It's called making love, right? It's something that everyone can only do when they're lawfully married. Supposedly. This is too bad. It's such a waste. I can't believe that they... him... don't have a fucking moral! I don't see any respect in them anymore. Sorry, but it's true.

Song of the entry is "Fuck You" by Lily Allen. Yeah, that should do it. XOXO

Survival Without A Friend

2009-11-06T17:31:00.000+07:00

This might sound cliche, but I wouldn't know what to do to survive at school this year. This is probably the most stressful year I've ever had. The school year had just begun, and I already got so much stuff to do. Maybe too much. I mean it. Think about it; I've been a robot on school days, now my parents always drag me down one place to another on weekends? WHOA. I need a break. They want me to get good grades (They were really disappointed in my Math.) but they don't let me catch my breath?! I was really under pressure. That reminded me of Prison Break, about a building designed to maintain the weight it holds inside. He's trying to strengthen it, but only ended up putting more weight on it. I think that is exactly what the government's doing on this country's education system. They wanted to take a bit of the pressure we're getting, but what they're doing is pushing us down harder.

Yesterday -Which is Monday- is always my busiest day of the week. I get home at 1, eat lunch and go for Math counseling at my friend's house in the neighborhood. Then I get off at about 4, walk home and rest for like 15 minutes then I go to course. That lasts until 6.15pm, then I get home, eat dinner, and do a stack of homework. Oh, not to mention that I get up at 5 friggin' AM. At the end of the day, I was so EXHAUSTED. So, then I spill it out to BGF via texting. I don't know, he advised me without lecturing. Heck, I don't even know if we can do that! Point is, he really made me feel better and be more grateful and less whiny. In fact, I was a little... ashamed. I called myself 'mature', but from what I wrote to him, I sounded like a spoiled and whiny little kid. But, him? He didn't even sound 14. Wait, why does Michael Scofield suddenly popped into my mind? Okay, they're sooooo different. But they do kinda have the same optimism and stuff.

If there weren't him or Risti or anyone... I wouldn't know what to do. And I would like to thank them for that. They've been such good friends. They've comforted me at the times I felt most uncomfortable; telling me that things can't be that bad. Love you guys :)

Song of the entry is "Survivor" by Kaye Styles. It used to be the anthem of "Prison Break", but now, it's the current anthem of my school life.

Midterms. Bleargh.

2009-10-23T16:34:00.002+07:00

I had my midterms two weeks ago. Needless to say, they were D-Pressing! Think about it. 3 subjects each day (2 on the last). TONS of stuff to read. And, to top it off, the "computer answer sheet" SUCKS! It is INACCURATE and I hate using it. One of my classmate even got a hand-me-down sheet!!! And by that, I mean the sheet that has been used and got pencil stains all over it. While I got the one with the stains from the printer ink, on my English test. DAMN IT! By that mierda, I got a 7.80 on English! 7.80!!! What kind of English score for me is THAT?! That is effin' horrible!

And do you know what's weirder? I got a 9.10 on Indonesian, which is the highest score out of 160 students. WTF?! Maybe, if the scores were swapped, and I got 9.10 on English and 7.80 on Indonesian, it would've made sense. Even with 9.10 I would still be disappointed at myself. I wanted to get a perfect 10. The test was easy. BUT THE SHEET MESSED EVERYTHING UP!!!

Math is chronic. I'd rather not tell you. SO LOW.

Other than that, not bad. 9.00 on Islamic Education, a lot of 8's. But... I'm still afraid. My parents are gonna kill me!!!

Rank 17 out of 160. *Sighs*... Definitely not good enough for Yale. I have got to do better. Much better. It's time to kick it up a notch.

Song of the entry is "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus. Pretty much describes this.

XOXO

Miss Independent

2009-10-17T10:02:00.003+07:00

I'm gonna give you my Top 5 Favorite Miss Independents. These are tough, strong, and smart women (But, unfortunately, fictional :S) from the hit movies, and... hope you like 'em!

#5...... Lara Croft in "Tomb Raider" (Portrayed by Angelina Jolie)

Lara is generally described as beautiful, intelligent, athletic (Look at those arms!), and somewhat reckless English archaeologist-adventurer who's into hazardous tombs and ruins. She encounters rivals, gangsters, dangerous animals, legendary creatures, and supernatural beings. She lives in a manor in countryside England. She once served with the Royal Marines. WOW! She kinda seems like a heartless tough warrior chick, but not really. She had a thing going with her friend -Whom she released from a prison in Kazakhstan on the sequel "Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life-, Terry Sheridan (Portrayed by Gerard Butler). Though she shot the guy in the end. Rich, beautiful, athletic, smart, and can handle a gun (Two, actually). What could be better? Ah, too bad, she don't do dresses or any of the feminine fashion items.

#4...... Sydney White in "Sydney White" (Portrayed by Amanda Bynes)

Fresh out of high school and entering South Atlantic University to be Kappa like her late mother used to be. Sounds like some typical mindless, preppy chick to you? Not really. She was raised by a construction workers (Her dad's a plumber) and she's going to SAU on scholarship. She learns political science, she can install plumbings, she fearlessly conquered the Beta fraternity house bathroom, she can handle nails and hammers, and to top it off, she cleans up nicely. This is what should be the girl of every guy's dreams! Not some skinny, brainless, partygoer Kappa president. Hey, at least partygoers like Blair Waldorf and Serena Van Der Woodsen still managed to get accepted at Yale and Brown.

#3...... Gretchen Morgan in "Prison Break" (Portrayed by Jodi Lyn O'Keefe)

Hot, smart, and tough. That is soooo Gretchen. She works for The Company as an agent, which constantly gets involved with Scofield and the gang. She's that tough woman with the gun who horsewhipped Sara, kidnapped Sofia and LJ, runs and drives around Panama and LA and Miami to get to Scofield (Or, specifically, Scylla), and usually walks around with a gun or two. Yeah, she sounds rather cruel and ruthless. But, once she gets to her daughter Emily, there she got the softer side of her. And plus, she can handle her pain (The early episodes of season 4 where she got locked up and tortured by The Company). After getting beaten up and whipped and chained, she still could go back around as if nothing ever happened. Too bad, she's evil and ended up in a jail in Miami.

#2...... Rebecca Bloomwood in "Confessions Of A Shopaholic" (Portrayed by Isla Fischer)

25-year-old shopaholic journalist who wanted to work for Allette but ended up in a financial magazine called "Successful Saving". It's kinda ironic for a shopaholic (Spanish: Someone who can't handle her outcome) to work for a financial magazine as an advice columnist. I love her preppy attitude, witty mind, and -Of course!- fabulous closet. So she's not tough like Gretchen Morgan or Lara Croft who is "guns-and-fights" tough. She is tough on dealing with her messy financial problems and juggling her life as a social butterfly, a magazine columnist, and a friend. And her life wasn't exactly smooth-sailing, but as her dad said, "If America can survive with million dollars of debt, so can you." Hmm... This character is a little bit like me. Though my shopping isn't that frequent. And I don't mean to be a narc ;)

and the winner is...

Sara Tancredi in "Prison Break" (Portrayed by Sarah Wayne-Callies)

The daughter of Illinois governor, Frank Tancredi. Her ambition to become a doctor began when she was very young. In Northwestern University, when she was a Phi Beta Kappa, she was introduced to the works of Mahatma Gandhi and decided to become a humanitarian, which brought her the decision to work in Fox River State Penitentiary. She treats her patients (Who were, indeed, cons) with the same cordiality and respect. Season 2, she's involved with the brothers' conspiracy plot and due to drug overdose, lost her medical license. She became a Company target. Season 3, Sara is "killed" and her "head" was in a box sent to Lincoln. Season 4, it turned out Sara's locked up in The Company facility the whole season (Probably the same room Gretchen got locked up later in the season) before finally escaped. She reunited with Michael with the help of a family friend, Bruce Bennett, and shortly joined Don Self's covert "A Team" to get Scylla and retrieve it to the government. Sara turned out to be pregnant later in the season, though she didn't tell Michael just yet. Sara became Michael's only remaining ally on the last third of the season. She saved Michael from his mother, Christina Scofield Hampton, by shooting her from behind. She got married with Michael, but then arrested at her party for murder of Christina. She was kept in Miami-Dade jail, where she met again with Gretchen (Who tortured her during her lockup in the Company facility) and got beaten up by the female officers. Gretchen saved her life from another female con who tried to kill her, and soon enough, they were allies planning their escape with Michael helping from the outside. Gretchen was captured still inside the jail area, leaving Sara to go on her own. Sara reunited with Michael once again, and after their last kiss, Michael told her to go while he'd connect the cable that would shut off the power causing the panel to explode and killed Michael. Four years later, Sara and her son Michael Jr., Lincoln, Sucre, and Mahone appeared at Michael's grave, laying flowers on the tombstone, and ended with the characters walking toward the seaside with the sun.

*Sighs* Emotional end. Smart, passionate, humanitarian, tough, and wearing her heart on her sleeve. This is the perfect mix. Intelligent like Lara Croft, tough like Gretchen, smart Kappa like Sydney, passionate and hearty like Rebecca. Thumbs up for her!

That'd be all. XOXO

October Breeze

2009-10-16T15:31:00.003+07:00

Rainy season is finally here! I loooooooooove the rain. The smells of wet ground, the sound of the wind whooshing, the sound of the trees where the leaves rubs again each other. And the soft breeze that blows through my skin. Plus, rainy season here means cool cardigans and hoodies to me. LOL

Edgy. And most importantly, casual and wearable. That's my main goal in creating looks. Standard skinny jeans from Acne and white sweater by Henry Cottons -You can always replace it with a simple broken white/grayish shirt. Matching vest by Ilse Jacobsen, you can button it up or let it loose like I did in the look. To add more edges, I picked out the cute Topshop necklace and the draped-chain necklace from Cornelia. A little essence of hippie with Aloha Mi Lajki charm bracelet (I love this item! I picked this out for my model many, many times :D). Plus three matching items; Brown Hermes bracelet (left hand), fierce beret from Accessorize, and -my fave!- Rabeanco handbag. And, last but not least, an awesome pair of white boots from Zoar. Lovin' this! Not that fierce like a knee-high woman boots, which makes this more wearable for girls my age. Though, of course, it's not really suitable for girls who live in a tropical place (Like moi, par exemple). You can try bomber sneakers, or maybe ankle boots or wedges (If you don't really do heels or stilettos).

As my friend said, "I'm not feminine, but I don't have to be feminine to like fashion, right?". Fashion doesn't have to be something with dresses and skirts and heels. Fashion is who you are, so it depends on how you dress yourself. Me? I'm a preppy, feminine kind of girl who likes summer dresses and wedges and lip gloss and being pretty. But that's me, that's not you. Sure, some of you might have the same style, but... some of you are just... not the type. Be yourself.

XOXO

I've Decided.

2009-10-09T20:32:00.000+07:00

College. On my previous entry, I was quite rebellious about Big Mama's suggestion (Or whatever that is) to take I-O psychology in college. I wanted to take literature as my career path some day. But here's the thing. Imagine this;

Here I am. Fresh out of college, with Literature degree (Hopefully, from Yale). What's next?

Simple question, but I doubt that you could answer that -Let alone quickly. I would chase my dreams, but I gotta think of the prospects too. I mean, I chase my dreams so that I can earn money from it. What's the use if I did chase my dream to study Lit if only to end up as a secretary or an assistant in some office? Hell, no. I don't want to be stuck at a desk job working for someone. And besides, they want me to take over their company someday, as the next and improved generation. Imagine if... I worked at the Human Resources, and then eventually I became to head of the department. Practically an exec here. I want that position. I would picture myself as a successful, young exec. Like Lisa Tabak in "Prison Break" -Only, younger. You know, powerful, determined, and related in familial way to the guy in charge (In the movie, General Krantz). I want to be like that.

Sometimes I wish I'm as brilliant as Michael Scofield or Van Gogh. But it's a little ironic to say that some great people just die young. Michael with his hypothalamic hamartoma, Van Gogh with several illness (Such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, syphilis, poisoning from swallowed paints, temporal lobe epilepsy, acute intermittent porphyria). Of course, Michael is a fictional character. But he always felt real to me :)

So maybe I don't want to be that great. I just want to be good enough to make some kind of essay for Yale and get contacted by them. Hopefully they are interested with my application and essay that they would love to give me a full ride. I know, being good enough is not enough. But if that's what it takes, no problem. I'd do my best to do better in the future. From this very moment, I've got to promise myself to work my sweats off to get good grades. For Allah. For me. For my parents. For my future. For Yale.

Child Abuse. Heart-breaking.

2009-10-08T17:06:00.001+07:00

I went through YouTube a few days ago, looking for the video about Kelsey Briggs' story. I saw that video months ago when a friend of mine sent the cause invitation to me via Facebook and he said he "cried so hard". And it was really sad. Check this out.

How could someone do such horrible things to a toddler that cute?! I was crying my eyes out and breathing so heavily, my chest went up and down, seeing that child has marks, bruises, and a black eye. And it got even worse when she broke both of her legs. She was two years old! In her mother's care! She also got broken collarbones, multiple bruises and abrations on her lower back, buttocks, and thighs. Oh wait, that's not it. I literally wail out when I saw her dad on her grave. No matter how painful it is for me to see, I would never imagine how would her paternal family feels, especially her father and grandmother. Check this page for more specific information on Kelsey http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelsey_Smith-Briggs

That is not the worse child abuse case I've ever known. Kelsey had his whole life captured on camera. Playing, laughing, growing up (Though only for a little while). This case is.

Briana Lopez, 6 months old. This murder case is so heart-breaking, the cops cried. The baby had bruises from head to toe. Old and new. And her dad admitted that he had been raping Briana (SHE IS ONLY 6 MONTHS OLD!). And that's not even the saddest part yet! Briana is now locked up in a cage full of trash by her family, despite that the community were willing to claim her body.

I felt bad and guilty. I wish I was a defendant or a consultant, or anyone that would stand up for those poor kids and make a difference!!! I wish I could have done something. But, unfortunately, I was too, too young when that happened.

So please, if you witnessed a child abuse, tell the authorities or local child protection. Call 'em up. You might save a life. Silence is not golden.

P.S. I don't like to call Kelsey "Kelsey Smith-Briggs" because I don't have any respect for her mother, Raye Dawn Smith. She is not capable of being a mother. She should've just let Kelsey live with her paternal grandmother, and Kelsey would be alive right now.

Birthday Wishlist

2009-10-04T15:42:00.001+07:00

It's 8 days until my birthday! Time goes by soooo quickly. Last year I'm doing a birthday wishlist just like this one. In my grandma's house, with super-slow Internet. Anyways, here it is. Check it out.

A new cell phone. Preferably iPhone or T-Mobile Sidekick LX. I know, it's impossible to get this from my parents since they already got me this notebook (Which they said was "A birthday gift for four years" -WTF?-) but, who knows, maybe Big Mama would get me :)
A bedazzled acoustic guitar, like Taylor Swift has. Again, kind of impossible, but you never know what you're gonna get, right?
A boyfriend. Haha. This is probably the most ridiculous -It's so ridiculous that it's ridunkulous!- thing I've ever wished for my birthday. But, mehh, it's probably time for "Barney Stinson" to finally settle in ;)
My family would treat me differently. To appreciate whatever path I'm taking, or to just shut up when they don't like it. And not be such whiny asses.
A bunch of books I saw at the store earlier. I got my eyes on "The Unfinished Tales" by JR Tolkien, "Confessions Of A Shopaholic" by Sophie Kinsella, "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown, "Gossip Girl" by Cecily Von Ziegesar, and a book of poems and stories for the Middle Ages. Okay, I don't have to have all of these, but I do want to. I would be glad to have even one of these books above.
A pair of wedges!!! I really need these.
Either FOX do another season of "Prison Break" or they make a movie version of it, where Michael turns out to be alive and everyone gets their happy ending. With Michael.
No more child abuse, ANYWHERE. Seeing the murder case of Kelsey Briggs and Briana Lopez breaks my heart. If only I was there to stop those mindless people from hurting them... :'(
Indonesia to stop getting earthquakes. It's scaring the hell out of me. I'm so worried about everyone. I hope you guys are okay...

It's mostly kind of impossible. But, quoting Barney Stinson, there is a point where the possible and impossible meets. And that is... The Possimpible. Like exactly what he said, nothing and everything is possimpible. LOL

That is pretty much what I wish for. Doesn't have to come true, but... a girl can dream, can I? ;)
Until the next time.

XOXO

How I Met Your Mother, Facebook Quizzes, and TheOpenMouth

2009-09-28T20:28:00.000+07:00

Things were really weird yesterday. Everything reminds me of him. I think I'm starting to feel... like I do have feelings for him as well. Which is not good.

Yesterday, I went to SurfTheChannel to watch the latest season of "How I Met Your Mother". There was only the first episode; Definitions. The previous season ended with Barney and Robin liking each other but not want to be 'boyfriend and girlfriend', while Ted finally got hired as an architecture professor in Columbia University. On this season, it turns out that Barney and Robin has had affair the whole summer... and still hasn't done The Talk. The Talk is the part where the girl and the guy sit down and decide where is their relationship going. Anyway, Barney was jealous when Brad asked Robin to this hockey game. And they talked a little, then Brad starts "Oh, God. Is this The Talk? Robin, I'm looking for something serious.", and Robin was --You know what? Here's what happen.

Robin : No, Brad. No. Barney and I...
Brad : Oh! You and Barney...?
Robin : No. I mean, I don't know what we are. My heart tells me I'm feelin' it, but my head tells me it's not such a good idea.

Ehmagawd! That is EXACTLY how I feel! Did they read my mind or something? Anyways, Lily locked them up in her room later and forced them to have The Talk. At the end, they decided to lie and "pretend" to be boyfriend and girlfriend. The episode wraps up with Barney and Robin walking out of Lily's apartment hand-in-hand going for brunch with Lily, Marshall, and Ted watching. Here's the one that caught my attention.

Ted : You do realize they're just lying, right?
Lily : No, they just didn't realize that they're not.

WHOA. That is... Man, that gave me butterflies in my stomach.

Oh, wait. It gets worse.

Almost all the romance quizzes on Facebook I took, like "Who will you fall for?" or "Who's your guy?", I always got "Best Friend" or that sort of thing. Yesterday, I took "Which movie romantic couple I got?", and instead of "Edward + Bella" like everyone else, guess what I got? "Ron + Hermione: The Best Friends"! Perfect. That's just... great. "You'll end up with someone who's been a very close friend...you know each other inside and out and are fully comfortable with each other...this romance is truly magical." UGH!

I went through Google Images for "boy-girl friendship" images that I used for my previous entry, "You Know That I Know", and I found a girl-boy friendship graphic. From this site http://theopenmouth.wordpress.com/2009/06/16/boygirl-the-friendship-graph/ about... Well, The Friendship Graph. "This is where the myth ends, how guys and girls cannot be friends. But yes it is possible for a little while." I don't wanna lose him, man. I just can't.

Okay. Maybe I start to feel the sparks. So maybe I started to feel awkward around him. So maybe I'm having a little "Bromance". So maybe I have this annoying pit in my stomach every time I think of him and the term "Dating". So maybe I start to feel like he's more important than I thought. What now?

I used to wish I felt the same way. I like him, he likes me, we go out, problem solved. But, like I wrote, it's never that simple. It's our friendship that's at stake. Believe me, we're very solid. We're not gonna just... throw it away. At least, I'm not. And besides, I don't wanna break his heart, man. I'm such a Barney. I flirt 24/7. That's why I'm still single. But on the other side, I'm looking for the real thing as well.

You know what? No. Hell, no. I'm not gonna ditch this friendship for a relationship that I doubt it would last long. I mean, I love him. But, love doesn't have to be tied to relationship, right? It could be platonic love, or maybe familial love. It doesn't have to be that way. He deserves a better girl. And I'll find another guy in a heartbeat.

Song of the entry is Shontelle ft. Akon: Stuck With Each Other. Until the next time.

XOXO

Prison Break Finale!

2009-09-27T20:43:00.001+07:00

Phew! I finally saw the finale of Prison Break. I was really rushing through the season, so 22 episodes went pretty quickly. At first I didn't wanna watch the finale since I already know what was gonna happen. Michael died. But, after seeing that 22nd episode (And cried during the scene where Sara and Michael walked down the shore), I thought the finale would be worth it. And it is worth it.

Did I mention that I'm the kind person who is soooo easy to cry? I sometimes just think about one thing that could make me cry (For example, Michael and Sara.) and tears would start flooding my eyes. Sometimes it's that easy. Especially when I'm having my 'time of the month'. But, period or not in period, I'm still that easy to cry.

I cried a few times during the finale. Well, not really crying, like 'sobbing and wailing' crying. But tears keep running down and my larynx felt like burning.

First; when Michael visited Sara for the first time in jail and he saw Sara's face after she got beaten up by the female officers. And when he goes "Oh, my God. Oh, my God..." and Sara was "I'm okay," and they both started to crack, that's the part where I cracked too. That look he had on his face, was the same look my mom had when I didn't tell her I had to stay late at school and I went home at like 5pm. I still remember that look.

Second; When Michael kissed Sara for the last time. Maybe that's because I know that he'd die afterwards. I started tearing when he said "God, I love you." and it didn't stop until Lincoln leaned on the door and Alex said "He's not coming back."

Third; when Sara and Lincoln watched the video that Michael recorded earlier. This is the part where I cried so bad. Because everyone in there cried too. Because tears, there, started to go in Michael's eyes. Enlightening the hazel and green in those. Distracting me from that thick jacket he was wearing (At first I was like "Wouldn't it be hot to wear that jacket in Miami?". Imagining that part made me wanna cry again. For real, I have tears in my eyes waiting to burst out. I'm serious!

At first I thought I could probably expand the story and create another where it turns out that Michael is alive somewhere. I want it to end happily. But it's a lot harder, since... Well, his death is off-screen, but they showed the control panel exploding. How would you explain that if Michael's alive? It's hard to fake.

Song of the entry is Everytime We Touch (Yanou's Candlelight Mix) by Cascada. Really suits the story. *Sighs* Imagining Sara and Michael and the song... makes me wanna cry. Ahh, I've been so WEEPY! Oh well, that's all for now. Laters!

Future Plans

2009-09-27T11:36:00.001+07:00

Been talking to Big Mama about my future lately. Those talks were stressful.

Big Mama is actually my aunt. She's my dad's eldest sister. Who, by coincidence, shared her birthday with me. I know, I probably should call her 'Aunt', but I have a lot of aunts. It's easier to mention here ;)

Anyway, she is... Well, crazy rich. Her husband owned several mining and rice companies (That's right, several) and she wants me to take over one of the company one day. WHOA! You might think I went like "Hell yeah!" or something like that. I didn't. I just froze up. The only thing in my mind was, "For once in my life, I want to be free to do whatever I want to, dang it!" I was, surprisingly, quite pissed off. I wanted to go to Yale, study Literature, and write. I wanted to write one of the most powerful and influencing piece of literature, like Jane Austen, Shakespeare, or Chaucer. I don't want some boring desk job, even when I'm an exec. Calculating profits, interviewing employee candidates... That's not how I roll.

I don't know why I'm always the one who gets stuck in the middle. I mean, I don't want to work for him, but he sent me an amount of money every month for my education insurance. Which I would probably be using for college. If I end up on a college here and didn't got a scholarship, anyway. But, I'm trying to think as positive as possible to get a full ride at Yale. Literature major.

I still don't know which one to choose. I just believe that whatever path I'm taking, I can make it.

This made me want to go finish my Math homework (Which I hadn't done. Heck, I haven't even touch the book since I put it in the shelf!). I heard Psychology has a lot of Calculus and Sociology. Calculus. Sociology I can handle :D

Alright, I'm gonna sign out and turn of the laptop now. I have to finish my Math homework today, or no watching Prison Break finale today. Hey, I'm getting good at giving myself consequences! LOL. Okay, I'm out.

XOXO

You Know That I Know

2009-09-26T11:30:00.004+07:00

I see your face, every time I turn around
I hear your name, every time the music starts
Now I got myself wonderin'
Why you? Why now?

Now I can't, even look you in the eyes
Even just to pretend
That it's alright
Because it's not

[Refrains:]
You know that I know now, but I
Don't feel the same somehow, but My
God I really wish I do
'Cuz I don't wanna hurt you
You know that I know now, but I
Don't feel the same somehow, but My
God I really wish I do
'Cuz I don't wanna hurt you
But since you know that I know now

Things wouldn't be the same anymore
Oh, how I miss you so
Your signature smile, and
Your hearty laugh

[Refrains]

I wish I'd fallen for you too
'Cuz then it'd be easier
No one would get hurt
And we'd live happily ever after

But it's never that simple
'Cuz I don't feel anything at all
I'm not your one
And I'm sorry

You know that I know now, but I
Don't feel the same somehow, but My
God I really wish I do
'Cuz I don't wanna hurt you

You know that I know now, but I (But it's never that simple)
Don't feel the same somehow, but My (I don't feel anything at all)
God I really wish I do (I'm not your one)
'Cuz I don't wanna hurt you (And I'm sorry)

But since you know that I know now...

I wrote this song a while ago. ~~Between~~ --Err, during classes at some parts. My best friends sure knows who is this song about (Fo sho!), though I'm not gonna mention his name here. This feeling was so strong, it only took me a day to write the song, find the notes and the chords progression. This is actually the first time I wrote a song, along with its music. All these times I only got to work on the lyrics. This one's my first, and I'm gonna post a video on YouTube soon to sing this. Can't wait!

Check out my channel http://www.youtube.com/user/asharfina4186 to see moi. The videos are a bit old, but I'm planning to do a few proper videos soon. No worries, new songs and covers coming up!

You know you love me ('Cuz I do!)
XOXO

Forgive and Forget

2009-09-24T21:46:00.000+07:00

Happy Ied Ul-Fitr! I hope you had a great holiday. If you're asking mine... Well, it's not so great, but I'm grateful for every day off haha. A bunch of cousin from Semarang came and stayed at my house during the event. I don't really like them. Those two guys keep calling me a 'baby' and telling me I'm fat and how tiny my nose is, and my aunt is bossy. She's even more bossy than my mom! Mom's bossiness I can tolerate, because... well, after all, she is my mom. While my aunt? She's a lot more bossy and possessive than my mom. And we don't even see each other a lot! For now, I'm still having a hard time forgiving them. Because, even though they "apologized", they keep doing that to me again. Over and over. And I'm actually so relieved that they're heading back tomorrow.

Despite that they're not yet forgiven by me, I have finally called off my feud with someone. My ex. Shocking? For me, yeah, kind of. He's been on the top of my hate list for over two years. I apologized to him on Facebook, and he said "Me, too. Let's start over from zero." We're now friends. It actually feels nice to finally
click on that history folder about him and press 'Delete'. Like nothing ever happened. But, still, I would never go out with him again. Ever. Some things are just undeletable.

That's it for now. I'm gonna crawl into bed and call it a day. XOXO

Passion For Fashion

2009-09-16T18:40:00.004+07:00

Fashion is relative. That depends on the person wearing them. Fashion could be something really disturbing and complicated and unimportant for some people. Or it could be one of many ways to express yourself, to show the world who you really are. Don't believe it? Let me break it down for you.

One example. When you see a guy wearing a beddazled and oversized T-Shirt, buttcrack baggy pants, grillz, or that big chain necklace... what's the first thing that would cross your mind? It's most likely something to do with 'hip-hop', right? I mean, it can't be like "Shiz, that guy looks like a rockstar!". Get real.

You don't get fashion sense by birth. You earn it. Or maybe you already have it in you as a natural talent, but you still need to sharpen your instincts. As for me, it comes naturally to me. Just like English and my writings. I know, and I totally understand the quote "Don't judge the book by its cover". But isn't the cover important, too? I mean, if you want to be respected with other people around you, you have to respect what you have -Inside and out.

So, in order to train my fashion sense, I checked out this Looklet thingy and created my looks. Check these out!

It's called "Fabulously Schooled", inspired by the hit CW series 'Gossip Girl'. You can probably tell by the boots -They're soooo Serena!-. This one's like a customized school uniform, and only leaves the plaid skirt as the school symbol. This look is super-chic, but... unless you're going to the set of Gossip Girl or The Clique, don't wear this. There's a huge difference between TV and reality.

This one is inspired by Hannah Montana: The Movie, Taylor Swift, and Colbie Caillat. This is more wearable than the first one, especially with the T-Shirt and the jeans and the loose vest. And the signature items of the theme are -of course- the cowboy hat and the fringe boots. Loooove the boots from Zara.

This one is inspired by many chick flicks and fashionistas, like Malina Joseph, Anna Wintour, and movies like "Confession Of A Shopaholic" or "The Devil Wears Prada". There's a halter top beneath the khaki ruffled top that you can take off once you reach your office. And the red T-Bone heels to light up the look so it wouldn't fall flat. Pendant necklaces, Marc Jacobs shades, and cute charm bracelet from Aloha Mi Lajki (I love writing that brand! LOL)... Plus a book, handbag, and paperbag to top it off and show the fashionista side.

That's my top 3 Fave looks yet. I'm not ready to go for more dramatic looks, so I'm gonna stick with preppy, feminine rebel for now. For more, you can visit my Looklet page at
http://looklet.com/user/94127

Let me know if you like my style. Ciao!

If I Was Rich, I Would... Splurge!

2009-08-26T14:18:00.004+07:00

So, I was walking down a hallway in MOI, passing through the stores and... I just knew I have something to write about it. Even if it's just a blurb. I don't care.

That very moment reminds me of the beginning of "Confession Of A Shopaholic". The only thought in my head was "Someday, I'm gonna be able to shop in these stores." and nothing else. I always imagining me, being a successful writer, walking out of the stores with those shiny paper bags and my credit card in hand. And me, wearing a Stella McCartney dress and Manolos, Michael Kors handbag, carrying a BlackBerry or an iPhone. Wowwww.

And then when we was on our way to the car, we passed an advertising counter for BCA Flazz. Dad asked the countergirl where to make a Flazz card, and then I started going all, "Ehmagawd! Is Dad gonna make me a Flazz card?!" to my mom. You know, as much tempting as that might be, I don't think that's a good idea. I would probably end up spending every cent of the money in the account. But, yeah... I don't think I could say "No" if he gives it to me either. Tough decision.

In the car, it just crossed my mind that Mom's ordering BlackBerrys from her friend abroad. Eep! That would be -Ehmagawd!- awesome! I know I wanted an iPhone, but a BlackBerry sounds good to me. Especially if it's Storm, mm... my life is purrfect. I hope that happens. I could really use a new phone right now. I've used this one for about 3 years and I think the battery's leaked now.

For now, I can just hope and pray. New clothes, BlackBerry, and a card? I'm SO up for it!

Song of the entry is "Uncontrollable" by Adrienne Bailon.

XOXO

Broken and Wounded

2009-08-18T16:14:00.002+07:00

I was talking to a schoolmate during the morning break at school. At first, we were just goofin' around and talk about Taylor Swift's songs while I play the guitar singing to her songs. And then we sung "Forever And Always" and then I started blabbing about how that song relates so much to me. And then I forgot how it came, when suddenly we started talking about my best guy friend.

I asked her if he ever told her anything about me, and she said "No. She keeps your secret with his life." and I just... feel like such a bad friend. And then she started talking about him considers me as a girlfriend, sister, and a mom (Which followed by "A mom?! What the hell?"), and he's been loving me that way since 7th grade. According to her, he's been crushing on me since then.

Boom. It hit me hard. It was a huge slap in the face. How could I be so blind? I felt really bad for him. I can't imagine how hurt he felt when I told him that I had a crush on "John Tucker", when I told him that we were going out, when Robby asked me out... I wish I could just come up to him and told him that I'm sorry. But we all know that it's not that simple.

And my friend, she said that she was hoping that I feel the same way. He's been waiting for so long, don't dissappoint him.

You don't know how much I want to feel the same way, but I just don't. Gosh, I really wish I was, and still am, but I just... don't. I don't have the vibe that I feel deep down inside my chest. Yes, I do love him. But not that way. No matter how deep I dug for that feeling, I just don't find it. How could I find it if it isn't there?

And because of our friendship. I don't wanna give it up. What if our relationship doesn't quite work out? This friendship is priceless. I wouldn't trade it for even a billion dollars, or fame, or success. I wouldn't trade it for love. Nothing in this crazy world would compare.

I'm scared. What if he suddenly asks me that question? If I say 'No', it will only tear my friensship apart and break his heart. He's been waiting for that long and the answer is 'No'. But if I say 'Yes', it'll only hurt him. Sooner or later he's gonna find out that I don't really feel the same way. And what if I like someone else? It's just gonna destroy him.

I don't know what to think!

I still remember all those memories in 7th grade. I remember how ridiculous he looked in that Winnie The Pooh apron during our first cooking task in Cuisines. I remember when people in class started teasing us when I was telling him a story. I remember the four of us racing with the other 36 students in Citizenship pop quiz. I remember the times when almost all the girls in class wouldn't talk to me because they thought he and I were dating. I remember how out-of-track we get when we started talking to each other. Those memories mean a lot to me.

I never want to see him hurt. Never do, never will. You probably wouldn't know how I feel if I hurt him, even though not on purpose.

Been listening to Taylor Swift's "Breathe" and "Teardrops On My Guitar", Colbie Caillat's "Realize", John Mayer's "Comfortable", and Yiruma's "River Flows In You" on loop for the past hour.

One Of The Boys

2009-08-14T16:28:00.002+07:00

What can I say? I'm quite the flexible. I can be the most superstylish, fashion-addicted girl in school... or the quirky one who hangs out with the guys, laughing at dirty jokes. I'm pretty easy to blend in. It's the quote "Experience is the best teacher". There were times where I had to jump from one clique to another because they all rejected me. Now I'm having times where I had to jump from one clique to another... to juggle my social life. I looooooove being a social butterfly :) haha

I don't really go to my guy friend's place during weekends, play video games, or any of that stuff. But I do enjoy hanging out with them at school. Not as one of the guy's girlfriend; as one of them. You might think this is probably impossible, but... not really. Mostly the guys just gathered around within 6 feet, they chat about something, then I come in and it gets more interesting. I laugh at their jokes, they laugh at mine. Everyone's happy.

I do have a best guy friend I still keep in touch. He's my first best friend EVER! We've been friends since 7th grade. Well, I haven't talked to him in person since... about a year? But, what can't technology do? We text. A lot. Well, not as often as before, since his friend told me something about my best friend during school break. It's getting a little awkward, now that I know. Though I don't know if he knows that I know... haha. Confusing, I know!

Sorry, I got out of track. Point is... befriending guys is just as good as befriending the girls. Sure, you can't go "OMG! I just saw the awesomest dress at the store!" or "Omigosh, that guy is sooooo hot!" around your guy friends. But you can still save it for a blab with your gal pals. Let me tell you why.

First; because you're probably the only girl in the group, and the guys are 'proven', you're safe. There's a bunch of guys protecting you. Kind of like Secret Service, but only they treat you as a friend -Not the President's daughter-, they throw jokes about you, they don't wear black suits and earpieces. Haha
Second; you can see the story from a different side. Not just from a girl's side, which is mostly influenced by emotions. Sometimes, guys are more rational than us.
Third; it'd be easier for you to try to get close to a guy (Though he's not your peep). 'Cuz your boys usually help you get to this guy. Especially, if one of your boys is a good friend of this guy. It'd be a grrrreat impression for him.
And a bunch of other benefits haha

Give it a try. But, don't take it too far. Some guys are a liiiiiiiittle dangerous. Try befriending guys who are not geeks (So not fun) but not 'too-cool-for-school' ones. The guys who have a good social life but not... damaged. Nice guys. Yeah, that's the word. Some guys you should stay away from, some other can have solid friendship with you. My best guy friend has tons of friends, but he's not cracked. Guys can be such good friends.

Song of the entry is "True Friend" by Miley Cyrus. Hmmm... maybe I should write a song about this! haha

The Outcast

2009-08-02T12:27:00.002+07:00

I come from a middle class family. I'm not filthy rich, but at least we're... Well, we pay our bills, we have good facility at home, everything's good. But, still. Around my friends, I'm an outcast. At this position, I'm like Jenny Humphrey in Gossip Girl.

My friends take piano and violin lessons; I learn guitar by myself. They shop in our own version of Bloomingdale's; I shop in Target. They have two shiny cars; I have one little city car. They have the latest notebook computer; I have an old crappy one. I'm different.

Sometimes, I feel embarassed because I'm not like them. That I'm not as loaded as them. When I go to my friend's house that are big and flashy, I remember how different it is from my medium-size and messy home. And when I see their relationship with their parents, it reminds me of how bad is mine with my dad right now. It breaks my heart.

But I will not give up. I will fight for that happiness that money can't buy. I will make Dad realize that he's been acting like an ass to me, that's gonna be a big slap in the face. Money is important; but it isn't everything. I'm gonna get my sweet revenge. I didn't mean it in a bad way, but... I'm done being underestimated. I wanna be taken seriously. Because I'm serious about this.

You might feel that being a 12-year-old must be fun and happy and colorful... It's not always like that. People say "Don't grow up too quickly", but I have no choice. I have to grow up to face these problems. Of course, I have those 'Happy days', but being a kid is not always good. But, how am I gonna solve these if I'm being childish?

Bottom line is; I'm not going to dissappoint myself. They are the one who are going to be dissappointed with themselves. This is my time.

Songs of the entry is every song in my 'Bad Day' playlist.

Me and My Music

2009-07-29T15:43:00.002+07:00

I'm no guitar genius. I just learned a little something-something. I enjoy it. Well, yeah, the fingertips of my left hand hurt on the early days. But it doesn't. Not anymore. Besides, helps me on my singing and songwriting. (Geez, I feel more and more like Taylor Swift every day!) I'm trying to do the chord progression for "Don't Rush", but... I'm stuck! It's supposed to be an upbeat rock-ish song (Like Miley, Demi Lovato, or Paramore) but I keep on playing on G-Em7-Cadd9-D unconsciously. It's not bad, but it doesn't fit the song. I don't wanna use the D-A-Em-G because too many songs use that already.

What the heck. I'll figure something out.

Speaking of guitar... Since I don't play any other instruments that can help me with my music, I've been learning some songs and planning to do covers for it. Damn it! I just remembered that I promised Daniel to do Cascada's "Evacuate The Dancefloor". Maybe I should make an acoustic version of it. Maybe I should make the acoustic versions of that kind of music; Cascada, Lady Gaga, Jesse McCartney...

Great. Now I feel like Kris Allen. Always with a guitar. Not that it's bad, but... come on. I've never been a fan of him. I'm always for Adam Lambert when they were in Idol. Though it is kinda unique to turn a dance music into an acoustic. Look up Kris Allen's cover of Kanye West's "Heartless". Kanye's voice was, like, synthesized in his original song. Kris' version is... acoustic. And it's pretty good. I don't see anything bad about it. My range is probably almost the same as Kris (Except that I'm a girl. Alto.)

Bottom line is... music is freedom. I'm free to write or sing about anything. Anything I want. What the heck. Eff what people said!

Song of the entry is No Boundaries by Adam Lambert/Kris Allen (I like Adam's because his unique vocals, Kris' because his guitar playing lol)

"Twisted Fairytale"

2009-07-03T13:00:00.003+07:00

I decided to start over and write a new novel. Here's the link.
http://www.worthyofpublishing.com/book.asp?book_ID=2488
Some of the characters and events are based on real life. Some.... aren't. This is some kind of a free therapy session for myself, and hopefully, my readers. I'm trying to tell everyone that we're stronger than we thought.

It's only three chapters so far. I'm working on my fourth chapter right now. But I already got positive feedbacks that motivates to continue writing.

I'm hoping that someday Hollywood will make a movie out of it. That's my goal. I'd love to hear those teenage girls scream my name outside my hotel. I'd love to meet people who reads my book at my book tour. I'd love to have groupies.

I'm still holding myself back to not show this to any of my family member. But when I came out with this, it's gonna be a bang. I know it.

Song of the entry is "When I Grow Up" by Pussycat Dolls

Don't Rush

2009-07-03T11:28:00.007+07:00

I grab the phone and call up Holly
See if she wanna catch a movie
But she says, "Sorry, but I'll pass
I gotta clean up my boyfriend's mess,"

Where did everybody go?
I don't know my friends anymore
Ever since they go out with those boys
Who treats them like toys

[Refrains:]
I wanna be free to do what I want to
Don't wanna get tied up to my boo
We girls can easily blush
But it's all just a crush
So don't rush

One day I sit at lunch with Skye
She keeps on texting her guy
And talk about how good he is at Fine Arts
Oh well, he stole her heart

I don't wanna be one of them
I'm not gonna fall for their game
I'm not gonna give up my childhood for
Something that'd do no good, 'cuz

[Refrains:]
I wanna be free to do what I want to
Don't wanna get tied up to my boo
We girls can easily blush
But it's all just a crush
So don't rush

Don't rush, 'cuz it's just a crush
That makes you blush all these times
Don't cry, instead say goodbye
To all his lies he said to you

Holly comes up to me crying
Over her boyfriend 'cuz he's cheating on her
And Skye gets very upset
'Cuz it turns out that she's just a bet

[Refrains:]
I wanna be free to do what I want to
Don't wanna get tied up to my boo
We girls can easily blush
But it's all just a crush
So don't rush
Don't rush 'cuz it's just a crush

Hey, baby don't rush.

I wrote this song for all the 'single ladies' out there. I know it's not that good, but I'm a little out of words right now...

Is Size What Really Matters?

2009-05-23T14:23:00.014+07:00

It's already planted in people's minds that the ideal body of a girl is tall and superslim. Like, Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Thandie Newton, Keira Knightley, ... there's a million other examples. And with those girls as 'ideal', girls like Lilly Allen or the Kardashian sisters are considered 'fat'.

I disagree with that. Those girls are skinny, while Lilly Allen... not so much. What I do call the ideal body is a standard BMI, meat on their bones, and toned body. Being skinny -Even though I've never been that skinny- wouldn't be fun. Especially if you're a model. You have to be size zero to stay walking down the runway. You think being a model is fun and pretty, it's actually not like exactly like that! Yes, you get to wear the coolest clothes from major designers and walk down the runway with celebrities analyzing the clothes you're wearing. But, ever think about the diet you're gonna have? Those 'size-zero' people consume not more than water, apple, tomato, and lettuce! Humans can't normally survive with that. Not if you want your body enriched with nutritions. There were models who died of malnutritions and heart attacks. Duh!

Some of these thin girls are just naturally thin. But... the other girls should realize that it's Hollywood. And they don't live in the TV Screen. We live in reality. It's just... twisted. You know why? Because people starts comparing real life with TV. This is what causes teenage girls to have bulimia and anorexia at their very young age.

Sometimes people call me fat. I'm about 5'7", I weigh about 123 lbs. I look in the mirror. I look at myself. This is not what I call 'fat'. This is just what I call 'curves'. It's something that some of those Hollywood girls don't have. I have meat. I have chubby cheeks. I have tushy ass -And *ahem* boobs-, and I'm proud of it. I don't know if I'd love myself as I do right now if I have my body like those superskinny girls. So, for all you girls who aren't confident of your body, don't be. I have my heroes for this. We all should be comfortable in our own skin. There are a lot of big girls in Hollywood who are successful and confident with their figure. Don't be so hard on yourself. Besides, being girls with curves mean you can eat good food. Not just some veggies is tiny portions or those diet stuff that tastes blah and is that expensive.

Girls you shouldn't look up as a body standard...
Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Thandie Newton, Keira Knightley, Emily Osment, Kate Moss, Vanessa Hudgens, Anne Hathaway, Victoria Beckham

Girls you should look up as a body standard...
Lily Allen, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Lopez, Ashlan Gorse, Leighton Meester, Beyonce Knowles, Jessica Biel, Megan Joy Corkery, Michelle Rodriguez, Missy Peregrym, Alicia Keys

There are also "big girls" who rules Hollywood. You know, Jordin Sparks, Jennifer Hudson, America Ferrera, Kelly Clarkson, Jessica Simpson, Adele...

Song of the entry is Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield and Believe In Me by Demi Lovato.

Catch ya laters! You know you love me.
XOXO

Movie Marathon Day!

2009-05-19T19:25:00.004+07:00

Yesterday, my friends and I were hanging out at Ristia's place to have a Movie Marathon Day. We first saw 'Disaster Movie' which was... I don't know. It was drop-dead hilarious, but I don't see the point of this movie. Well, I guess that's the point of the movie; so random. There were Hannah Montana, Jessica Simpson, J.T., "Juno" and stuff. Weird, but SUPER-FUNNY! Of course, we shouldn't really watch this kind of movie since there were inappropriate language and scenes. It was enjoyable, however.

Then we watched ".Rec", a Spanish zombie movie. It's about a couple of people -Plus a TV show host and her cameraman- who were trapped in an apartment. There were local owners, firemen, cops and the two TV crews. I dig the whole 'shaky camera' thingy, makes everything more real. I do hate the ending, though. Everyone died. Ugh.

"Click" is afterwards. I cried, of course. And so did some of my friends. It's soooooo sad yet brings a good message to the viewers. Life's too short; don't fast-forward it.

Then we saw "John Tucker Must Die". Reminds me of him a lot. Four girls, one guy. A star athlete, girls worship the ground he walks on -*Ahem* metaphorically speaking-. Cheats on the girls. What an asshole.

We played DDR after that. Tightens up the legs and fun as a bonus point. I love this game!

And then Dad picked me up at about 5pm.

It was a lot of fun. I'm hoping that we can do another one like this. Maybe, sleepover next time?

X-Man

2009-05-19T10:50:00.004+07:00

Nope, I ain't talking about Wolverine and his gang. I'm talking about X-Man, a.k.a. former boyfriend. My X-Man.

His name is Pascal, he's quite tall, supercute, volleyball star, he's a total 'womanizer'. I liked him. I knew that he's got a long list of girls he dated, but it wasn't a big deal for me. Stupid girl.

About a year ago, June, after a graduation party, he started texting me flirty messages. Some of them were like messages that a guy sends to his girlfriend. I was super-flattered, and I thought he really liked me. I thought he really meant what he said.

A few days later, he popped out the question, "Will you be my girlfriend?". It was a 'once-in-a-lifetime' chance so I said "Yes". Total player, after that he just dissapeared. No calls, no texts, NOTHING. So, two weeks later, I broke up with him. Well, he was about to break up with me, but I broke up with him first. Ha!

We were at least still friends. One night we were texting and... here's the shizzle.
Me: "How cud u ask sum gal 2 b ur gf when u barely kno her? a week l8er u realizd she's not d1 then u dump her."
Him: "Like wit u?"
Me: "Yea. Wud u xplain it 2 me?"
Him: "Its not bc I liked another gal. I din wanna hurt u."
Me: "Hurt me? why?"
Him: "Bc I... already hav 3 GFs when we went out. I'm so sorry."
Me: "Asshole."

4 GIRLFRIENDS?! What, was he inspired by 'John Tucker Must Die'? It's just not any of us knew and unite to break him. I planned to tell one of his girl about this. I think I know one of them. John Tucker, and I'm Kate. It's just that I wasn't sent by the three other girls. I just fell for him. Hard.

It's a new dawn, new day, new life, and I'm feeling good now. Actually, I felt a whole lot better when he ruined my friend, Dika's friendship with Wanda. Dika yelled at him and he almost CRIED! OMG! I saw tears flooding on his eyes, this close to burst! I was only a feet away, and I was like, "Awwwh. So sensitive! What a wimp." I knew he heard that. I don't care. He cheated on me with three other girls. That's what he gets for screwing up with me.

I had to thank him, though. He's the inspiration for the heartbreak songs I wrote. Of course, there are other inspirations, like Ristia's ex and Joe Jonas. But, still, that doesn't change the fact that he hurt my feelings.

Song of the entry is Smile by Lily Allen.

My-oh-Miley!

2009-05-13T15:08:00.003+07:00

I'm no hater. I'm a huge fan of Miley Cyrus. And I just want to say what I want to say. So, all haters out there, don't hate me for this.

Miley's a great person. She's only 16, but her albums are on the top of the ladder. Hannah Montana: The Movie is a big hit. Superhot boyfriend. Famous friends. A million fans screaming her name. Money. Designer clothes. Paparazzi following her everywhere. Most of us think she has everything. But, don't you think she missed a normal life?

Maybe some of us thinks it's cool to have paparazzi taking pictures and following you every minute of every day. But isn't is tiring after a certain amount of time? It's like having some people harassing you every day. Asking you about your relationship with your boyfriend. Even though I didn't have some retard holding his camera and asked you personal questions every day, I've been through that sort of thing. *shudders* I wish I could kick his butt...

Y'all hate her because of the Vanity Fair pictures. I know, little kids shouldn't do that in the future (And neither do we). But, like you've never done something wrong! Some girls her age even made "that" tape with their boyfriends! Some girls her age lost their virginity already. It's all a part of some girls' normal life. It's just that she's super-famous that everyone took too big of a deal with it. Get a life!

The slanted-eye pics. Well, my friend is Hmong and she didn't find that picture offensive. People just starts to take advantage of her. They scoured every inch and make such a big deal to every little things. Us teens likes to goof off, right? Why can't she? Why are you all so pissed off by a freaking picture?

"A Disney Channel shouldn't date a 20-year-old underwear model." So what? Just because she's a Disney star, doesn't mean that she should live in celibacy! Maybe she sees him differently. Not just his face, his bod, or his *ahem* assets. Don't judge the book by its cover. If the cover is a guy on tight pants posing in front of the camera, doesn't mean that what's inside the book is that nude-y. Maybe he's not what we think it is.

Try to understand. Most people has a very logical reason for that. I'm sure Miley has. She's only 16. She just gets more pressures than we do now. Give her a rest.

I know what I said might not be true. And I might be just a stinking 12-year-old who's "trying to defend her idol". I'm just someone who's trying to look at the bright side of everything, and not to be so judgmental. Aren't you sick and tired getting judged all the time? If you are, then stop judging people and being so harsh. Life is hard by its own. Don't harden it again.

Blurting Out-- It Gets Better!

2009-05-12T15:14:00.005+07:00

Life doesn't sail smooth lately. It kinda sucked. A lot.

People kept judging on MY NOSE. That's plain ridiculous! Just because my nose isn't as great as them, at least I still have a stinking nose! They make fun of me in those stupid old pictures in front of me. Hello, I still have ears and a heart! Don't you think I do?

Mom just caught me cussing in my facebook status. I know that's not nice, but can't I be mad? don't I have the right to express how I'm feeling? If I get the chance, I might not be as 'brutal' as now. She doesn't want me to go to an Islamic school so that I don't get too much pressure. She's seen people like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga who came from religious family and went to Cath school. Well, I don't get the same pressure like them, but I'm most likely equally pressured! I can't keep my anger inside; burning my throat and piling up in my brain. This is the place where I don't have to be afraid and hold back. I can write whatever I want in here. It's a democracy, shouldn't I get freedom?

School sucked more. The rules are... irrelevant to me. "Student who refuse to take part in flag ceremony/assembly gets 5 minus points." some students have a very logical reason for their refusal. Like, a student with self-esteem issue gets forced to lead the assembly while some 'too-cool-for-school' makes major fun of him. The guy refuses and gets 5 points plus a bad reputation for 'disrespecting' teacher. That's HIS pride that's on the line! He is going to risk his life and psychology health? I don't think that's a good idea. Change is good. But, not skipping steps and make a huge one. Take it one step at a time. No need to rush. Whoa, I didn't mean to quote Jordin Sparks on the second sentence.

There were times when I want to scream a curse but right now... no need to. I spilled what I felt. It felt a whole lot better. I'm a great person with many potentials. I have many good friends. People likes me. So what? My family's not that supportive, but I know that my parents are, deep inside. Someday, they'll stop making fun of me. Someday, they'll no longer saying bull about how useless I am. I am the director of my own life. I don't care about what people think of me. I'm an older girl who was born only 12 years ago. Ironic. But I won't let it get to me. Not a chance.

Songs of the entry are Save The Day by David Archuleta, Details In The Fabric by Jason Mraz ft. James Morrison, Make Some Noise by Miley Cyrus, I Don't Care by Fall Out Boy, and Fuck You by Lily Allen.

The Song!

2009-05-06T15:19:00.007+07:00

This is it. The song I'd like to dedicate to 'you-know-who'. Not the 'Ex-Man' you-know-who, but 'McDreamy' you-know-who. I finished it in class. Ridiculous to write it when your headmistress is explaining about force and Newton and stuff, yes. But, it's probably the 'deepest' song I've written yet. Here it is.

The Reason

The canvas is plain and white
The pages are dull and empty
I have no reason to fight
For I've never believed what I see

You came into my life
Like a dream come true
Oh I feel so alive
All because of you

Your smile lightens up my day
I wanna make you mine if I may
Your voice keeps whispering in my ear
As if you're really here
You're the reason for this song
to be written

I hear your voice like a beautiful music
Playing in my mind
It gives me the feeling
It's only a matter of time

Your smile lightens up my day
I wanna make you mine if I may
Your voice keeps whispering in my ear
As if you're really here
You're the reason for this song
to be written

When I see your face,
A hundred poems I'll write about you
A thousand paintings I'll draw for you
A million songs I'll sing for you

But if you're gone, when your gone,
The poems will be just letters
The paintings will be just splatters
The songs will be just noises

The sky was never that blue
Until I see you

'Cuz your smile lightens up my day
I wanna make you mine if I may
Your voice keeps whispering in my ear
As if you're really here
You're the reason for this song
to be written

Without you this song would
never be written

You are the reason for
this song to be written.

Tell me what you think. Hit me up on MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/asharfinamusic or http://www.myspace.com/asharfina), Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/asharfina), or just send me an e-mail. I'll record it and post it on my YouTube channel asap. Thanks. You know you love me,

XOXO

P.S.: This song is written by myself, and I hereby CLAIMED it. Anyone who claims or uses this song without my permission would be involved with related laws and sin.

Backpacking Plan!

2009-05-05T16:20:00.004+07:00

My BFF, Ristia, and I were planning to go backpacking and holiday-hopping. Of course, it's not until we're officially adults (17 here.) so we're not getting dictated by our parents lol. And, we need time for the money, 'cuz I know it costs hell of a dime.

Anyways, our destinations are: Singapore - London - Paris - Zurich - Rome - Barcelona - San Francisco - Los Angeles - Las Vegas - Utah - New York. That's 11 cities total. We're big dreamers, alright. but, hey, Jason Castro once said "Dreams come true. So dream big." right?

Singapore; it's just a transit. Neither of us want to go here so bad. But shopping in Haji Lane would be nice. Duh!

London; YEAH! There's a zillion places we want to visit. London Eye, Buckingham Palace, Madame Tussauds, Tate Modern, Thames River... It's a long list. We planned to stay here a little bit longer. We could probably check out the cities around London.

Paris; Eiffel and tres hotties! Whoop-dee-doodle-doo. This place would be perfect for us who's diggin' for cute guys. And the cuisines. And 'marche aux-puces bla-bla-bla idr' flea market.

Zurich: Idk, but it'd be fun to go to the safest city in the world. And it's a neutral country. And the chocolate-y. Team Switzerland all the way! lol.

Rome: Fontana De Trevi! We so wanna stay in the hotel they shot Lizzie McGuire The Movie. It's cute, but the landscape architecture on the courtyard is beautiful. Oh, we also have to see Colloseum, and go shopping.

Barcelona: My fave! Alhambra mosque in Granada, museums, probably take pics outside Sagrada de Familia. Try tapas. Check out: spanish hotties. Yowww!

San Francisco: Ristia's spot. The trem, and... I don't really know about this place ;)

Los Angeles: One week or more here! Can't leave the room without camera. The celebs! The beaches are too beautiful to miss. and, ooh, should I bring bikini? jk. I'll probably go for shorts and tanks. I'm no bitch.

Las Vegas: City of hell. Brendon Urie aka Ristia's future hubbie's hometown. We'll look somewhere around Grand Canyon. Spa! lol.

Utah: Home of David James Mayorga Archuleta. Sigh... Spots don't really matter if you can meet the Archuletas. I adore them all. (This'd be so embarassing if one of them read this...)

New York: Last stop. Upper East Side, Manhattan, Central Park... anyone knows a good restaurant?

Backpacking = pack light. Good, because I won't be carrying a suitcase that could fit me in there around. But I'm pretty sure that I'll come home bringing one or two extra bags. Don't worry, I'll shop at thrift stores and flea markets. It's not like I'm gonna splurge in Harrods, Via Condotti, or Bloomingdale's. It's economical crisis. I can't spend money on designer stuff, while on the other side of the world, people can barely eat. I can't live with that.

Song of the entry is "Sneakernight" by Vanessa Hudgens.

Sneak peek of my novel!

2009-04-09T13:46:00.003+07:00

As you probably know, I'm working on a novel right now. And I'm currently on chapter 7. So, I decided to give you a little sneak peek. This isn't the beginning f the story, so it might not make sense.

“Hey, I have something to show you. Let’s get to London Eye,” he glanced at his watch.

I wondered what that would be. But, somehow, I was so sure that it will not be disappointing. I could see it in his amazing blue eyes. It felt like he spoke to me with it. He was ‘saying’ something like, “I know you’ll love it,”

And I was right. It was very far from disappointing; I loved it. That was actually the best thing any guy has done for me. He took me to see the sunset. The beautiful color schemes of purple, pink, orange and red muted me. No guy has ever done this for me.

“Clark. This is… beautiful,” I said, finally after forgetting how to speak for a short minute.

He was staring far at the view. “Yeah, you are.” He turned to look at me.

“Not with this view in comparison,” I denied, glancing at the skyline.

“I’m not comparing you with anyone or anything,” he looked down. “You’re incomparable to me.” he whispered in a cocksure tone of voice.

“Really?” my voice started to crack. A single tear rolled down my cheek.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“No one’s ever said that to me. I really appreciate that,” I sighed.

He circled his arms around my waist. “No problem,”

* * *

We went for a little stroll on the neighborhood. It was after a big rain. I love everything about it. I love the smell of wet ground, I love seeing the glowing pavements, I love the sound of the soft water splash of every footstep I made, I love the cold breeze that blew off the leafs on the tree and made soft wheezing sound… And do you know what I love most? Clark and I were holding hands. Life was so good and easy at the moment. It was like everything seemed to fallen in place… perfect.

We got at my building’s front porch. It’s time to say ‘good night and good bye’, I guess. “I had a great time. Thanks for showing me around, Clark,”

“No problem,” he rubbed his thumbs on the back of my hand.

My heart started pounding. I knew what was going to happen next.

He pulled me in and pressed his lips onto mine. That should’ve been nervous for some people, but it had made me a little braver. My heart wasn’t going to pop; it was going to chill.

He kissed me so adoringly; no guy had ever kissed me that way. I kept saying no guy’s ever done this like Clark did… that’s just the truth. With them… everything was just a lie. He was different than the other guys I went out with. There was something about his eyes that none of those guys have…

I pulled myself back to end it, even though I know I didn’t want to. “I’ll see you at school?” I promised.

“Sure. I’ll see you at school,” he nodded. Then he turned his back and walked away.

I sighed. “I wish that would never end…” I muttered to myself. Weird, but I really did mean it. If I could turn back time, I would repeat that moment. Not because of the kiss. Well, I liked it, but not that. When he pulled me in, everything just felt so right. When we touched, there was some kind of vibe that I had never felt before. Not with anyone. No one but Clark. What is this feeling?

Please, don't restrain from giving a feedback. I'd love to hear it from you guys. I'll try to respond to every comment.

You know you love me,
XOXO

Reach Out

2009-03-18T17:01:00.004+07:00

My parents want me to take Mandarin major in college. Do I need to say more? I don't want to study Mandarin!!! I'm so done with all this. I don't want to have 'optional skills' that are too common (No offense.) How many non-Chinese people in the world who speaks Chinese? And how many non-Hispanic people in the world who speaks Spanish? Huh. Not as much as Chinese obviously.

And then they were talking about, "What if you go to a job interview, and then they ask you what other language do you speak, and you only say Spanish. and then they're like 'Oh, sorry. we don't use Spanish for our company'?!"

PUH-LEEZE! That's not my style. I don't work for people, people work for ME. I don't do what other tells me to do, because I tell people what to do (Unless for certain occasions and purposes). I don't go to job interviews to get hired -- I go to job interviews to HIRE people. I'm not someone's assistant, I'm the one someone assists. I'm Blair Waldorf, not Jenny Humphrey.

I so don't wanna do the back rows and all. I always want to be on top. The leader. Someday... There'll be my name in big gold letters on a big building in Manhattan or Century City. It'll be the brand of clothing that those big-time celebs wear to the Grammys, and the one the stars wear in a hit TV show. It'll be my name that those little kids scream during a red carpet session. It'll be me that those moms came up to and say "You are a great role model for my daughter". Someday, it'll be me.

Why do I chose something different? Because if someone needs it, I could get paid big-time. Probably bigger than people with common skills. If someone's looking for something different, and I'm the one they're looking for, I'm far more successful than the others.

Ex. : The Wizards Of Waverly Place episode where they learn about the time-reversing spell. and then Max made a one-of-a-kind sandwich and got offered for a major sandwich deal. Then Alex reverses time for 17 times, and then the beardy guy just don't like it because it's just... common. Imagine if Justin didn't mess up 17 times and Alex didn't have to reverse time, the Russos would be RICH! and that's exactly what I believe will happen to me. I know I can make it happen. I am my own director of my life.

I want to go to Spanish Lit, Fashion Design, Psychology, Performing Arts, or Architectural Design major. Not Mandarin or Japanese. If I did get to Mandarin (Even though I hope not!), then my how-many years in college would be pointless. What's the use? Why would I reach out something I don't want? It's like standing between an apple tree and a pine tree. Apple tree is the Spanish major and all, while the pine tree is Chinese major. What's the point to climb out the pine tree, when I want to reach out for one apple way over there?

NO. I am my own director of my life. I decide which path I will use. I decide what's best for me. I decide what major will I take. I decide. No one has the right to do that, but me. No one. N-O O-N-E. Not even my parents, teachers, headmistress (That witch!), SBY, or even OBAMA could do.

Music Update!

2009-03-14T10:40:00.003+07:00

Another subscriber! 4 down, 46 to go. Phew, that's... still a long way to go. But, no sweat! Do you know why? 'CUZ I'M LEARNING GUITAR! Yes, I just had my first guitar lesson last Thursday. Well, we're learning classic guitar. But once you can do one genre, the other just needs a little refining. And, I show my music teacher my original songs (Thank goodness!) and he's gonna find the chords for me! YAYYY!

One other thing, though. I wouldn't be getting a mic, but I should get the digital camera fixed. My cell phone camera result is CRAP! Too bad my parents don't know about this. If they do, I can go "Mom, can I get a mic for recording my video?" or "Dad, can we fix the digital camera? I need it for recording videos and upload it to YouTube." at this case, what am I going to say? Photography? I'll work something out.

It's Me Singing!

2009-03-10T17:10:00.003+07:00

I have YouTube channel. Me singing covers of songs. Well, for now. I'm planning to post my own song in the future (I'm taking guitar lesson this Thursday! YAY!) and repair the digital camera! I've been recording the videos with my cell phone camera, which kind of sucks. And I need the digital camera to attract more users and even subscribers. Currently, I have three subscribers. My goal is 50. So, it's still 47 to go.

Future Covers:
- Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney (Requested Cover)
- You Can by David Archuleta
- Somebody Out There by David Archuleta
- White Horse by Taylor Swift
- You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift
- Thinking Of You by Katy Perry
- I Will Be by Leona Lewis/Avril Lavigne
- The Climb by Miley Cyrus
- Just Dance by Lady Gaga
- I Hate This Part by Pussycat Dolls
- Your Call by Secondhand Serenade

Wow. Still... 11 videos to make. Well, I'm gonna do 'Beautiful Soul' first, then 'Just Dance' and 'I Will Be'. The acoustic songs will be posted later, as soon as I can do guitar. Can't wait!

Just a little preview...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3xoIZHqQB4

Toodles!

XOXO

A Soap Opera Spin-Off In Real Life

2009-03-09T16:15:00.002+07:00

There were the days when you feel like you're with the right people in the right people. Like you're at the top of the world. Everyone likes you. You're good and right at everything. You're so grateful of your life. It seemed like your life was just perfect. Nothing could stop you from doing anything. Until...

You found out that your friends were talking about your bad things behind your backs. They're talking about how spoiled and smart-ass you are. About how mature you act, think, and talk until they don't even understand you. They're talking about how annoying you are, until none of them wants to sit with you in class ever again.

You're thinking about changing your attitude, so that you can still fit in. So you could still be the part of the in-crowd. You didn't want to let go, because the clique was the only place.

But it won't work. This clique is NOT the place where you belong. These people are not your real friends. Real friends don't talk about each other behind their backs. Real friends care about their friends' feelings. Real friends tell the truth. No matter how hurtful it is.

I thought I knew these people so well. But I guess I was wrong. They're just as pathetic as those other pendedoras who betrayed me in the past. It's a shame how stupid I am to believe them. How stupid I am to get stuck in this drama all over again.I've had enough of this. I'm done with the shallow-mindedness. I'm done with the childishness. I'm SICK of this drama! These people might have let me down today. But let me tell you something; I'm going to be a great person one day, whom they look up to, and they're going to regret letting me down back in the day. We'll see about that. No one messes with me. Because no matter how hard I fell, I'll get up again. I won't give up on myself. And I will get out of this drama.

One thing though; You don't need to be the cast of 'The Hills', 'Gossip Girl', or '90210' to get this type of drama. Join the club.

Songs of the entry:
The In-Crowd by Mitchel Musso
Decode by Paramore
The Climb by Miley Cyrus
Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects
I Don't Care by Fall Out Boy

Schoolgirl Crush

2009-02-06T16:01:00.004+07:00

Crush. I've had my first crush when I was in 7th grade. I wonder how could David haven't crushed on any girl in 18 YEARS OF HIS LIFE? Hmmm....

Anyways, crush is just "Likey likey" for me. It was nothing serious, because I'm 12 and too young for 'true love'. Well, maybe my true love is someone I know. But it's not like we're gonna be Bella and Edward right now. Life's too short!

I went out with my first crush and broke up two weeks later. I've been crushing on his for over a month. He's a very sweet guy. But it turns out he's a total asshole... He had three other girlfriends when we were going out. He was a typical John Tucker. You know, sport star, major hottie, totally lovable... and apparently four girls. Before I know that, I just liked him. Today,... I feel like I wanna slap him and say, "If you think I'm just a big stupid toy, you are SO wrong!" my ringtone for him is Katy Perry's "Hot 'N Cold".

My BFF, Ristia, went out with her best guy friend four days ago. She was singing Jason Mraz's "Lucky" at school all day. She said he's the most romantic guy she ever known. He sends love texts to her like "Good night, my sweetheart." or "I Luv U, Babe." or "Please go eat. I dont want u 2 get sick." or stuff like that. I was a little worried because her boyfriend sounded like my ex, but as a best friend, I kept supporting her. But last night, she texted me saying, "im so worried. he hasn't called or txtd 2day." again, he reminded me of my ex. Two or three days of love texts and then no calls or texts at all. She tried to get in touch with him, and finally he replied her text. But it doesn't count. She texted "Have u done ur Physics hw?" and you know what he said? He only said "Wat u have in mind?". That is very dry! She didn't reply back because she's too mad. She's so pissed that she actually said that if he didn't try to get in touch with her within 2 days, she is going to break up with him.

Don't get me wrong, but I think she's doing the right thing. Better safe than sorry, right? I don't want her to be heartbroken by that guy just like my ex did to me. I care about my best friend. Her boyfriend sounded more and more like my ex. My BFF and I don't deserve that kind of guy. We deserve wayyyy better than that.

Song of the entry is "Should've Said No" by Taylor Swift. We both should've said no....

Wars; When Will It End?

2009-01-17T09:03:00.001+07:00

So, we all heard about the Israelis-Palestinians war in Gaza, right? Are you glad with the actions from Israel? Are you dissapointed in them because they're not good enough? Or are you sick of them for hurting those people?

I might be a pre-teen who knows nothing about anything, but everyday I saw on the news, thousands of Palestine civillians die everyday. Every day and every night I wonder, "Why? Why would they people do this? Why are they so cruel until they didn't care if they killed people who's done nothing wrong to them?" If they wanna do a revenge, those people are NOT the people who deserved to get revenged. Little kids die! A little Palestinian boy die, shot on the heart, and the Israeli soldier commanded their tracking dog to eat the boy's dead body!!! How sick is that?! The kid probably doesn't even know what's their problem, and it's sure as hell that he didn't do ANYTHING wrong to the Israeli!

I know that some of you think Muslims are terrorists or something. That's not entirely true. Those Muslim terrorists are just misunderstood people. They think Americans are asses. Americans wrecked the world of Middle East. So, the terrorists did some kind of genocide. Like 9/11. But what they probably don't know is, there are neutral Americans. There are Americans who doesn't like what Israel did to Palestine. There are Americans who desires the world peace and humanity. I believe that. What those terrorists did were wrong, because there are innocent people killed because of them. But what Israel did was very wrong, too. More than a thousand died already in Gaza.

We all live in one place called Earth. Like, in a smaller picture, a family lives under one roof. One member has to get along with another, right? That's what we should do, too. I'm not strong enough to spend another few years hearing these kinds of news. I have a heart. So, please, don't support the war but support the world peace instead. It'll be worth it.

Song of the entry is "What About Now" by Daughtry.

You are the music in me

2008-12-20T21:41:00.004+07:00

Music. Music is something everyone listens to, right? I define music as melodies that makes a beautiful sound. Music can be very simple, but on the other side can be delicate. Music can play with your emotions. Music is one great miracle that God gave to us humans.

People has different tastes for music. Some people likes classics, country, blues, folk, rock, metal, pop, soul, R'nB... there's too much! I, technically speaking, love all kinds of music. But, there's always, at least, one cool thing about one type of music. Classic relieves your stress. Rock is good for your nerves and let loose because you can jump up and down listening to it. Metal has a very complicated guitar playing that not everyone can do. Pop is really easy listening and very youthful. Soul music inspires all of you guys who wants to be a singer, because soul vocalists have wide ranges of vocal. R'nB is a good music you can dance to.

Don't hate other types of music if you already like some. I'm always adventurous about listening songs, but at first, my eyes for music are closed. At first, I don't really like oldies. But, I watched American Idol, and almost every year they had 'The Beatles Week'. I heard some of their songs, and they were surprisingly good. Then the musical influences from my dad. He enjoys listening Tracy Chapman, Kenny Rogers, Rod Stewart, and I heard their songs a lot. Believe me, I didn't like them at first. But, you'll learn to like it. Yes, it didn't work for some people. But, usually, it does. Like, a big fan of Linkin Park suddenly listens to Mozart.

So, I have some songs from various types of music that I personally like and would reccommend. I hope you'll like them, too.

David Archuleta - Somebody Out There
The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved
Claude Debussy - Clair De Lune
Miranda Cosgrove - Stay My Baby
Carrie Underwood - I'll Stand By You
Paramore - Decode
Katy Perry - Hot 'N Cold
The Beatles - Yesterday
Rob Pattinson - Never Think
Angelis - Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Linkin Park - Numb
Chris Brown - Wall To Wall
Daughtry - What About Now
Ted Nugent - Stranglehold
ABBA - Dancing Queen
Evanescence - Bring Me To Life
Panic! At The Disco - Northern Downpour
Christina Aguilera - Contigo En La Distancia
Billy Ray - Ready, Set, Don't Go
Demi Lovato - Get Back
T.I. - Whatever You Like
Daddy Yankee - Gasolina
Drew Seeley - You'll Be In My Heart

Two Stars

2008-11-16T11:08:00.000+07:00

I've been deeply in love with David Archuleta for a long time. I listen to his songs all the time, stare at ONE picture/minute, and daydream of becoming Mrs. David Archuleta. And, yep, a lot of girls does that, too. And I don't mind. I never do.

Near the peak of 'Falling In Love' mountain, another star showed up from the past. And he practically drag me into a freaking crossroads. A tuff choice.

Remember the movie 'Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire'? If you do, I assume you remember Cedric Diggory... Right? That role was played by a guy named Robert Pattinson, a very HOT guy, by the way. I used to be 'in love' with him when the movie blast off. But, it's been a loooong time ago, and I'm over him. I love David.

His character in Twilight, Edward Cullen, was described as 'Perfect'. What made me breathless is the way Steph Meyer describes Edward's perfection. His eyes, his dazzling smile, his touch, when he kisses Bella... And he fit that role. That vampire image is so sexy for me! Yowwww. And ever since he was casted as Edward, I don't know why, for some reasons, he is Edward Cullen. Well, but not a blood-sucking vampire. He's that perfect, handsome, mysterious Edward. And I haven't even seen him act as Edward! Maybe just a little from the trailers and teasers, that doesn't count ;P And that voice..... gosh, that amazing blues-y voice... I couldn't resist that charm. Not from him.

Why do I suddenly feel like a freaking Bella Swan wannabe? Those guys don't even know me. I'm just a crazy fan who loves two stars at the same time. Loving two people wouldn't be fair, even if they don't know that they're a big part of my life. I'm sooooooo confused. I love both of them! I have a big crush on those two! WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

Hey, everyone

2008-11-16T10:49:00.000+07:00

My name is Asharfina -But people call me 'Ash'- and WELCOME TO MY BLOG! In here, you can read what's in my mind, what my life is like, what's going on here. I also might have some stories, songs, or poets that I wrote, so just wait and see!

I'm a middle school student from Jakarta, Indonesia, but I look, act, and think older than my age (I'm 12!) Some of my friends are often surprised because what I said or decide is really a mature thing. I'm no longer some childish brat. Maybe because of that, I'm more comfortable being friends with people who's a lot older than me -My best friends are like 19ish-. Sometimes I'm sick of my friends who's about my age -Not even exactly my age, they're still a year older! I'm a year ahead- all those childish stuff. That's not me. This is who I am.

So, anyone, please add me as a MySpace friend at http://www.myspace.com/asharfina