I've Decided.

College. On my previous entry, I was quite rebellious about Big Mama's suggestion (Or whatever that is) to take I-O psychology in college. I wanted to take literature as my career path some day. But here's the thing. Imagine this;

Here I am. Fresh out of college, with Literature degree (Hopefully, from Yale). What's next?

Simple question, but I doubt that you could answer that -Let alone quickly. I would chase my dreams, but I gotta think of the prospects too. I mean, I chase my dreams so that I can earn money from it. What's the use if I did chase my dream to study Lit if only to end up as a secretary or an assistant in some office? Hell, no. I don't want to be stuck at a desk job working for someone. And besides, they want me to take over their company someday, as the next and improved generation. Imagine if... I worked at the Human Resources, and then eventually I became to head of the department. Practically an exec here. I want that position. I would picture myself as a successful, young exec. Like Lisa Tabak in "Prison Break" -Only, younger. You know, powerful, determined, and related in familial way to the guy in charge (In the movie, General Krantz). I want to be like that.

Sometimes I wish I'm as brilliant as Michael Scofield or Van Gogh. But it's a little ironic to say that some great people just die young. Michael with his hypothalamic hamartoma, Van Gogh with several illness (Such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, syphilis, poisoning from swallowed paints, temporal lobe epilepsy, acute intermittent porphyria). Of course, Michael is a fictional character. But he always felt real to me :)

So maybe I don't want to be that great. I just want to be good enough to make some kind of essay for Yale and get contacted by them. Hopefully they are interested with my application and essay that they would love to give me a full ride. I know, being good enough is not enough. But if that's what it takes, no problem. I'd do my best to do better in the future. From this very moment, I've got to promise myself to work my sweats off to get good grades. For Allah. For me. For my parents. For my future. For Yale.