How I Met Your Mother, Facebook Quizzes, and TheOpenMouth

Things were really weird yesterday. Everything reminds me of him. I think I'm starting to feel... like I do have feelings for him as well. Which is not good.

Yesterday, I went to SurfTheChannel to watch the latest season of "How I Met Your Mother". There was only the first episode; Definitions. The previous season ended with Barney and Robin liking each other but not want to be 'boyfriend and girlfriend', while Ted finally got hired as an architecture professor in Columbia University. On this season, it turns out that Barney and Robin has had affair the whole summer... and still hasn't done The Talk. The Talk is the part where the girl and the guy sit down and decide where is their relationship going. Anyway, Barney was jealous when Brad asked Robin to this hockey game. And they talked a little, then Brad starts "Oh, God. Is this The Talk? Robin, I'm looking for something serious.", and Robin was --You know what? Here's what happen.

Robin : No, Brad. No. Barney and I...
Brad : Oh! You and Barney...?
Robin : No. I mean, I don't know what we are. My heart tells me I'm feelin' it, but my head tells me it's not such a good idea.

Ehmagawd! That is EXACTLY how I feel! Did they read my mind or something? Anyways, Lily locked them up in her room later and forced them to have The Talk. At the end, they decided to lie and "pretend" to be boyfriend and girlfriend. The episode wraps up with Barney and Robin walking out of Lily's apartment hand-in-hand going for brunch with Lily, Marshall, and Ted watching. Here's the one that caught my attention.

Ted : You do realize they're just lying, right?
Lily : No, they just didn't realize that they're not.

WHOA. That is... Man, that gave me butterflies in my stomach.

Oh, wait. It gets worse.

Almost all the romance quizzes on Facebook I took, like "Who will you fall for?" or "Who's your guy?", I always got "Best Friend" or that sort of thing. Yesterday, I took "Which movie romantic couple I got?", and instead of "Edward + Bella" like everyone else, guess what I got? "Ron + Hermione: The Best Friends"! Perfect. That's just... great. "You'll end up with someone who's been a very close friend...you know each other inside and out and are fully comfortable with each other...this romance is truly magical." UGH!

I went through Google Images for "boy-girl friendship" images that I used for my previous entry, "You Know That I Know", and I found a girl-boy friendship graphic. From this site http://theopenmouth.wordpress.com/2009/06/16/boygirl-the-friendship-graph/ about... Well, The Friendship Graph. "This is where the myth ends, how guys and girls cannot be friends. But yes it is possible for a little while." I don't wanna lose him, man. I just can't.

Okay. Maybe I start to feel the sparks. So maybe I started to feel awkward around him. So maybe I'm having a little "Bromance". So maybe I have this annoying pit in my stomach every time I think of him and the term "Dating". So maybe I start to feel like he's more important than I thought. What now?

I used to wish I felt the same way. I like him, he likes me, we go out, problem solved. But, like I wrote, it's never that simple. It's our friendship that's at stake. Believe me, we're very solid. We're not gonna just... throw it away. At least, I'm not. And besides, I don't wanna break his heart, man. I'm such a Barney. I flirt 24/7. That's why I'm still single. But on the other side, I'm looking for the real thing as well.

You know what? No. Hell, no. I'm not gonna ditch this friendship for a relationship that I doubt it would last long. I mean, I love him. But, love doesn't have to be tied to relationship, right? It could be platonic love, or maybe familial love. It doesn't have to be that way. He deserves a better girl. And I'll find another guy in a heartbeat.

Song of the entry is Shontelle ft. Akon: Stuck With Each Other. Until the next time.


XOXO

Prison Break Finale!

Phew! I finally saw the finale of Prison Break. I was really rushing through the season, so 22 episodes went pretty quickly. At first I didn't wanna watch the finale since I already know what was gonna happen. Michael died. But, after seeing that 22nd episode (And cried during the scene where Sara and Michael walked down the shore), I thought the finale would be worth it. And it is worth it.

Did I mention that I'm the kind person who is soooo easy to cry? I sometimes just think about one thing that could make me cry (For example, Michael and Sara.) and tears would start flooding my eyes. Sometimes it's that easy. Especially when I'm having my 'time of the month'. But, period or not in period, I'm still that easy to cry.

I cried a few times during the finale. Well, not really crying, like 'sobbing and wailing' crying. But tears keep running down and my larynx felt like burning.

First; when Michael visited Sara for the first time in jail and he saw Sara's face after she got beaten up by the female officers. And when he goes "Oh, my God. Oh, my God..." and Sara was "I'm okay," and they both started to crack, that's the part where I cracked too. That look he had on his face, was the same look my mom had when I didn't tell her I had to stay late at school and I went home at like 5pm. I still remember that look.

Second; When Michael kissed Sara for the last time. Maybe that's because I know that he'd die afterwards. I started tearing when he said "God, I love you." and it didn't stop until Lincoln leaned on the door and Alex said "He's not coming back."

Third; when Sara and Lincoln watched the video that Michael recorded earlier. This is the part where I cried so bad. Because everyone in there cried too. Because tears, there, started to go in Michael's eyes. Enlightening the hazel and green in those. Distracting me from that thick jacket he was wearing (At first I was like "Wouldn't it be hot to wear that jacket in Miami?". Imagining that part made me wanna cry again. For real, I have tears in my eyes waiting to burst out. I'm serious!

At first I thought I could probably expand the story and create another where it turns out that Michael is alive somewhere. I want it to end happily. But it's a lot harder, since... Well, his death is off-screen, but they showed the control panel exploding. How would you explain that if Michael's alive? It's hard to fake.

Song of the entry is Everytime We Touch (Yanou's Candlelight Mix) by Cascada. Really suits the story. *Sighs* Imagining Sara and Michael and the song... makes me wanna cry. Ahh, I've been so WEEPY! Oh well, that's all for now. Laters!

Future Plans

Been talking to Big Mama about my future lately. Those talks were stressful.

Big Mama is actually my aunt. She's my dad's eldest sister. Who, by coincidence, shared her birthday with me. I know, I probably should call her 'Aunt', but I have a lot of aunts. It's easier to mention here ;)

Anyway, she is... Well, crazy rich. Her husband owned several mining and rice companies (That's right, several) and she wants me to take over one of the company one day. WHOA! You might think I went like "Hell yeah!" or something like that. I didn't. I just froze up. The only thing in my mind was, "For once in my life, I want to be free to do whatever I want to, dang it!" I was, surprisingly, quite pissed off. I wanted to go to Yale, study Literature, and write. I wanted to write one of the most powerful and influencing piece of literature, like Jane Austen, Shakespeare, or Chaucer. I don't want some boring desk job, even when I'm an exec. Calculating profits, interviewing employee candidates... That's not how I roll.

I don't know why I'm always the one who gets stuck in the middle. I mean, I don't want to work for him, but he sent me an amount of money every month for my education insurance. Which I would probably be using for college. If I end up on a college here and didn't got a scholarship, anyway. But, I'm trying to think as positive as possible to get a full ride at Yale. Literature major.

I still don't know which one to choose. I just believe that whatever path I'm taking, I can make it.

This made me want to go finish my Math homework (Which I hadn't done. Heck, I haven't even touch the book since I put it in the shelf!). I heard Psychology has a lot of Calculus and Sociology. Calculus. Sociology I can handle :D

Alright, I'm gonna sign out and turn of the laptop now. I have to finish my Math homework today, or no watching Prison Break finale today. Hey, I'm getting good at giving myself consequences! LOL. Okay, I'm out.


XOXO

You Know That I Know

I see your face, every time I turn around
I hear your name, every time the music starts
Now I got myself wonderin'
Why you? Why now?


Now I can't, even look you in the eyes
Even just to pretend
That it's alright
Because it's not


[Refrains:]
You know that I know now, but I
Don't feel the same somehow, but My
God I really wish I do
'Cuz I don't wanna hurt you
You know that I know now, but I
Don't feel the same somehow, but My
God I really wish I do
'Cuz I don't wanna hurt you
But since you know that I know now


Things wouldn't be the same anymore
Oh, how I miss you so
Your signature smile, and
Your hearty laugh


[Refrains]


I wish I'd fallen for you too
'Cuz then it'd be easier
No one would get hurt
And we'd live happily ever after


But it's never that simple
'Cuz I don't feel anything at all
I'm not your one
And I'm sorry


You know that I know now, but I
Don't feel the same somehow, but My
God I really wish I do
'Cuz I don't wanna hurt you


You know that I know now, but I (But it's never that simple)
Don't feel the same somehow, but My (I don't feel anything at all)
God I really wish I do (I'm not your one)
'Cuz I don't wanna hurt you (And I'm sorry)


But since you know that I know now...

I wrote this song a while ago. Between --Err, during classes at some parts. My best friends sure knows who is this song about (Fo sho!), though I'm not gonna mention his name here. This feeling was so strong, it only took me a day to write the song, find the notes and the chords progression. This is actually the first time I wrote a song, along with its music. All these times I only got to work on the lyrics. This one's my first, and I'm gonna post a video on YouTube soon to sing this. Can't wait!

Check out my channel http://www.youtube.com/user/asharfina4186 to see moi. The videos are a bit old, but I'm planning to do a few proper videos soon. No worries, new songs and covers coming up!



You know you love me ('Cuz I do!)
XOXO

Forgive and Forget

Happy Ied Ul-Fitr! I hope you had a great holiday. If you're asking mine... Well, it's not so great, but I'm grateful for every day off haha. A bunch of cousin from Semarang came and stayed at my house during the event. I don't really like them. Those two guys keep calling me a 'baby' and telling me I'm fat and how tiny my nose is, and my aunt is bossy. She's even more bossy than my mom! Mom's bossiness I can tolerate, because... well, after all, she is my mom. While my aunt? She's a lot more bossy and possessive than my mom. And we don't even see each other a lot! For now, I'm still having a hard time forgiving them. Because, even though they "apologized", they keep doing that to me again. Over and over. And I'm actually so relieved that they're heading back tomorrow.

Despite that they're not yet forgiven by me, I have finally called off my feud with someone. My ex. Shocking? For me, yeah, kind of. He's been on the top of my hate list for over two years. I apologized to him on Facebook, and he said "Me, too. Let's start over from zero." We're now friends. It actually feels nice to finally
click on that history folder about him and press 'Delete'. Like nothing ever happened. But, still, I would never go out with him again. Ever. Some things are just undeletable.

That's it for now. I'm gonna crawl into bed and call it a day. XOXO

Passion For Fashion

Fashion is relative. That depends on the person wearing them. Fashion could be something really disturbing and complicated and unimportant for some people. Or it could be one of many ways to express yourself, to show the world who you really are. Don't believe it? Let me break it down for you.

One example. When you see a guy wearing a beddazled and oversized T-Shirt, buttcrack baggy pants, grillz, or that big chain necklace... what's the first thing that would cross your mind? It's most likely something to do with 'hip-hop', right? I mean, it can't be like "Shiz, that guy looks like a rockstar!". Get real.

You don't get fashion sense by birth. You earn it. Or maybe you already have it in you as a natural talent, but you still need to sharpen your instincts. As for me, it comes naturally to me. Just like English and my writings. I know, and I totally understand the quote "Don't judge the book by its cover". But isn't the cover important, too? I mean, if you want to be respected with other people around you, you have to respect what you have -Inside and out.

So, in order to train my fashion sense, I checked out this Looklet thingy and created my looks. Check these out!



It's called "Fabulously Schooled", inspired by the hit CW series 'Gossip Girl'. You can probably tell by the boots -They're soooo Serena!-. This one's like a customized school uniform, and only leaves the plaid skirt as the school symbol. This look is super-chic, but... unless you're going to the set of Gossip Girl or The Clique, don't wear this. There's a huge difference between TV and reality.



This one is inspired by Hannah Montana: The Movie, Taylor Swift, and Colbie Caillat. This is more wearable than the first one, especially with the T-Shirt and the jeans and the loose vest. And the signature items of the theme are -of course- the cowboy hat and the fringe boots. Loooove the boots from Zara.



This one is inspired by many chick flicks and fashionistas, like Malina Joseph, Anna Wintour, and movies like "Confession Of A Shopaholic" or "The Devil Wears Prada". There's a halter top beneath the khaki ruffled top that you can take off once you reach your office. And the red T-Bone heels to light up the look so it wouldn't fall flat. Pendant necklaces, Marc Jacobs shades, and cute charm bracelet from Aloha Mi Lajki (I love writing that brand! LOL)... Plus a book, handbag, and paperbag to top it off and show the fashionista side.


That's my top 3 Fave looks yet. I'm not ready to go for more dramatic looks, so I'm gonna stick with preppy, feminine rebel for now. For more, you can visit my Looklet page at
http://looklet.com/user/94127

Let me know if you like my style. Ciao!