Envy

Not that I'm being a narc or anything, but... I believe I have talents. Slightly raw and unpolished, but all I need is a chance. I never got the chance to prove that I can do things. You know how people is... they always stick to the status quo. It's not easy to accept newcomers. But once they see the shining newcomers, they are wowed.

To be honest, I sometimes envy my best friend. She's probably the most popular girl in school who has a good image. She's pretty, smart, friendly, charming... she's everything. She has girls in school who look up to her, guys who got huge crush on her, tons of friends (Literally.), and a boyfriend who loves her soooo much.

And yet, sometimes she still complains about it. I don't get it. Though, it's not perfect, I know. But... all I wanted was to be wanted. To be the one that shines the brightest, even just for once. She has all that. I have...

I'm a dork. I'm freakishly tall and big like Kimora, and look crucial at some point. I speak whatever I had in mind. I can be tough or bossy sometimes. My thoughts are wayyyyy ahead most people around me. Boys consider me as one of them. I'm far from Miss Popularity type.

My point of view is different sometimes. When I see 'ugly' people, I always see something in them that makes them beautiful. But, when I see 'beautiful' people, I also see flaws every here and there. I know that nothing is perfect. I just can't help wishing it was...

I wrote this not to humiliate my best friend in any way. I love her, she's the closest person I know as a sister. Being with her, it's a bit of a downer. But seeing her waste it or complain about it, frustrates me. She has, like, everything a girl wants in her teenage life, and she doesn't want it.

It's true that humans are never fully satisfied with what they already have. Sometimes it's good, because it motivates you to do greater things. But, other times, be grateful for what you had. I know. I act like that, too, sometimes.

P.S.: Risti, don't throw all that away. Enjoy it. Be grateful. I'll be there for you and I'm 100% behind what you're after.

XOXO